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    HEALTHYNCGAL   10,046
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Invisible.


Saturday, March 22, 2014

This morning, Husband was looking HOT. He is a very attractive guy, and he has a great butt. I tell him this all the time. He still drives me crazy after all these years (we've been together since he was 21 and now he's 38). Almost daily, I'm just about mauling him. I can't keep my hands off him sometimes. We have both gained a considerable amount of weight over the years, but it's like I don't even see it on him. In fact, I think he's sexier now than he's ever been. I know he doesn't feel this way about himself. I know he isn't interested in sex because of how he feels about himself the past couple years. Personally, I know it's such a boost to my self-confidence when he is interested in me, so I don't understand why, or how, that is never (and I mean NEVER) the case for him.

This morning, I took a shower and spent a long time fixing my hair with the "new" stuff I got last night. It felt so good to have my hair looking nice again. I also did my makeup. Typically, I just wear a little concealer and a bit of mascara. I feel my best when I have on my eyeliner, lots of mascara (my eyes are my favorite feature, so I really play them up). My eyes look good no matter how heavy I am. I put on jeans and a cute top.

He hasn't said one single, solitary word about my appearance. Again. This is the second time in the past couple of weeks I've put quite a bit of extra effort into my appearance and he hasn't said one word about it. "You look extra pretty today, hon." Is that so freaking hard? "I like your jeans; they look great." Would "I like your hair," be too much to ask? I feel like crap about myself too, buddy, but you bet your ass I can find something nice to compliment you on (and I genuinely mean it, too!) He never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, EVER compliments me, tells me I look pretty, tells me he likes _____. Never. Nothing. Ever. Zip.

I've talked to him about this more than once, and he always just says, "it's not you; I just don't feel that great about myself." I appreciate that, I really do. Maybe I'm just being selfish.

I truly can't remember the last time someone said I looked pretty. I can't remember the last time MY HUSBAND told me I looked pretty, or liked something about my appearance.

It just makes me feel so...

...invisible.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
EDDYMEESE 3/22/2014 10:41PM

    Ugh, I'm really sorry. Men can be so oblivious.
I would say that low self esteem is playing a big role here, it seems. Maybe he's worried about encouraging you?
If he compliments you then you'll keep working hard and leave him in the dust?

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HEALTHYNCGAL 3/22/2014 9:39PM

    Thanks! I'm hanging in there and feeling better this evening :)

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BEACHCALSIX 3/22/2014 4:47PM

    hmm he definitely sounds self concious. He is doing the plan with you right? Just be careful he doesn't view it competitively. Men tend to think of things as competitions. He may see your success and dressing up as threatening to "beat' him, I don't know, men are weird.
Women do it too though, if we see another woman losing weight or dresses up really pretty, we may become catty and jealous towards them instead of being supportive. We don't hate them and still love them but we are jealous inside. Just a thought, may not be it at all :)
It took my husband a long time to start complimenting me or even noticing me losing weight so give it some time and see if it changes. Don't let it get you down, just keep pushing!!!

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