Saturday, March 22, 2014
This morning, Husband was looking HOT. He is a very attractive guy, and he has a great butt. I tell him this all the time. He still drives me crazy after all these years (we've been together since he was 21 and now he's 38). Almost daily, I'm just about mauling him. I can't keep my hands off him sometimes. We have both gained a considerable amount of weight over the years, but it's like I don't even see it on him. In fact, I think he's sexier now than he's ever been. I know he doesn't feel this way about himself. I know he isn't interested in sex because of how he feels about himself the past couple years. Personally, I know it's such a boost to my self-confidence when he is interested in me, so I don't understand why, or how, that is never (and I mean NEVER) the case for him.
This morning, I took a shower and spent a long time fixing my hair with the "new" stuff I got last night. It felt so good to have my hair looking nice again. I also did my makeup. Typically, I just wear a little concealer and a bit of mascara. I feel my best when I have on my eyeliner, lots of mascara (my eyes are my favorite feature, so I really play them up). My eyes look good no matter how heavy I am. I put on jeans and a cute top.
He hasn't said one single, solitary word about my appearance. Again. This is the second time in the past couple of weeks I've put quite a bit of extra effort into my appearance and he hasn't said one word about it. "You look extra pretty today, hon." Is that so freaking hard? "I like your jeans; they look great." Would "I like your hair," be too much to ask? I feel like crap about myself too, buddy, but you bet your ass I can find something nice to compliment you on (and I genuinely mean it, too!) He never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, EVER compliments me, tells me I look pretty, tells me he likes _____. Never. Nothing. Ever. Zip.
I've talked to him about this more than once, and he always just says, "it's not you; I just don't feel that great about myself." I appreciate that, I really do. Maybe I'm just being selfish.
I truly can't remember the last time someone said I looked pretty. I can't remember the last time MY HUSBAND told me I looked pretty, or liked something about my appearance.
It just makes me feel so...