Friday, March 21, 2014
The other day, my hubby went to his doctor appointment and learned that he gained another 6 pounds. He signed up for some phone coaching and I looked at the brochure and saw that they offered nutrition and activity tracking. So I asked if he was going to use their setup instead of the program we use offline. I was thinking that maybe he'd take some advice from some one other than me because he does not seem to do anything I suggest.
His response was that I knew more than they did (based on a previous visit to the dietician), but if only I could get my eating under control. Excuse me? If I get my eating under control YOU would lose weight?
Ok, I admit I eat a lot of junk food but I do not share it with my husband; we have learned to avoid conflict by keeping our own stash. I do most of the cooking and try to offset my terrible eating by making low-fat, whole food plant based meals, often accompanied by huge salad with lettuce, greens and veggies. I often make extra so there will be leftovers. So if he ate what I cooked, he'd be able to stay within his calorie range needed for him to lose weight. But he often chooses higher fat and more calorie dense foods (eggs, sausage etc.) whenever he eats solo.
I do not accept the responsibility for his weight gain because I do not eat all the right foods. I am so annoyed that he placed the blame on my eating habits and that he won't lose weight until I get MY eating under control.
It makes me wonder if a person never accepts responsibility for their actions and views the consequences as some one else's fault, can they ever change? Because right now I am close to laying the blame on my hubby for my wanting to keep eating everything in sight. I am frustrated but the reality is it is not his fault I am feeling this way because it is simply my reaction to these thoughts that are in my head. It is my decision in how I choose to react to it.
If I lay the blame on someone else then it would be their responsibility to make the change, not mine. What is the benefit in that? It almost seems silly to expect another person to change so you can reach your goal.