Well sparkfriends, I was informed yesterday that I was not chosen to move forward to the second interview for a permanent position.
My manager did say that she wants to help me find somewhere in Nationwide that I can work and get hired on, so at least I made a good impression that way. I lacked enough experience to beat out the others, but it still gives me more experience than I had to begin with.
As for this week, I've done pretty good. Stayed within my calorie range especially when I get a good workout in. I noticed that my calorie ranges moves up depending on how many calories I burn through extra movement and exercise, but I don't over do it. I've had a healthy breakfast, snacks, and lunch all week. Dinner for the most part has been on par. Sodium has been down or a little over for most of the week. I've been drinking a lot of water and I've gone to the gym for over an hour the last two days. Planning on going tonight and tomorrow to try and make up for Monday and Tuesday since I slept through both time slots to go to the gym.
I took a peek at my weight this morning. I know I really shouldn't have, but I was curious. I have to say it was really discouraging. It went up. Am I just fluctuating? Am I missing something? Is it my muscles being swollen from the night before? Am I doing something wrong? I have to do something to break through this. If I can't even lose a pound in a month and I sit back and examine where I went wrong, fix it and still there is no moving, it's beyond demotivating.
Maybe I'm over examining everything. Maybe my body is just fighting me to stay at this weight since is the most common weight I've been at. Maybe it's just muscle forming and I'm just working myself up for nothing. I think it's because it's one thing in my life I can control and actually do and even that seems out of reach right now. Maybe I should just put up the scale for a while and take it out when I'm done feeling like I'm being defeated every time I weigh-in. I confided in my boyfriend that it's enough to make me want to give up and just throw in the towel. Even though he tells me I'm fine the way I am, he told me not to because it's something I want to do. He gave me some confidence. Now I just need to find it for myself. I think another thing that is getting to me is that my other friends have made progress where I have stayed the same or gone up. The words " Not Fair" run across my mind a little more than I'd like to admit. However, we're all in this together so their success is also mine and that's what I try to focus on. I took my frustration out at the gym last night, and I'm feeling it today. Just a little sore, mostly in my stomach, and a little in my arms and shoulders.
So with this attitude, I will put up the scale when I get home. I will eat right and exercise and push myself. I will use other ways of measuring my progress, how I feel, how my clothes fit, and how my body looks. Then, when I feel I can do it, I will face the scale again. I will do all of this while completing my schooling for the school year and finding a permanent position. So many things going on at once, it just drives me insane.
Also, I need to go grocery shopping. I need something else in my life and I'm going to try and meal plan for the week. I've never done it before and I'm willing to try it. Make, then freeze my portions and thaw the night before and bring them to work. Breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks. I think that doing this will definitely help keep my salt, sugar, and hunger down. So this weekend I'm going to go for it and try it for the week and see how well it helps me. I might pull out the scale at the end of the week just to see if that made a difference, then put it back up. I'm not sure. I might just hold off on weighing period and I'll just gauge by how my clothes fit. If they're getting tighter, I will know I'm not watching something and fix it. If they get looser, then I know I'm going in the right direction.
Now that being said. Does anyone have any suggestions for food that would be good prepare for the work week? Keep in mind, I extremely dislike rice, sour cream( of any sort), cream cheese( of any sort), and tend to stay away from seafood although I like tuna and I've had salmon.