Friday, March 21, 2014
The word "geographical" refers to one of the actions that an alcoholic mistakenly takes in order to "fix" their problems. It means you are changing your "outsides" in order to fix your "insides". So an active alcoholic may physically move or change jobs in the faulty belief that it is their environment that is causing their problems. I read about "doing a geographical" for the first time in the book I recently read, "Why You Drink and How to Stop: A Journey to Freedom" by Veronica Valli.
The author writes that the alcoholic can't see the chaos and consequences this is causing in their life. They can't see the destruction or the impact alcohol is having. The reason is that the predominant thing in their lives is this constant internal emotional PAIN and dissatisfaction. This influences their choices and decisions. They hope that a physical change will change how they feel.
Of course, this never works, because wherever the alcoholic goes - there he STILL is.
Valli lists many things that an alcoholic or potential alcoholic will change in order to try and fix the PAIN inside they are feeling:
changing jobs frequently
obsessing over their appearance
buying things they don't need or can't afford
changing studies abruptly
enthusiastically starting new things but never finishing them
ending relationships/getting divorced hastily
remarrying or getting into new relationships hastily
starting new hobbies that peter out quickly
I have to admit, I've done most of these.
The alcoholic is trying to "fix their insides by changing their outsides". When eventually all these methods fail to make them happy or content, they turn to alcohol to do the job.
I think I've really "settled down" now. I've been in a relationship for 7 -1/2 years and we've lived together in the same place for 5 -1/2 years. No more moving or getting into and out of relationships for ME ! My hobby has been "Sparking" for 1- 1/2 years and I've learned so much and lost almost 40 pounds. I'm feeling SO MUCH better about my body and feeling healthy and energetic. I'm doing GREAT !
No more "geographicals" for ME !
Have you done a lot of "geographicals" in YOUR life ?