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Week 2 thus far and my pity party......sigh

Friday, March 21, 2014

So for some reason this week is much harder, not sure why exactly but I have been having a tough time fighting cravings. Trying to stick with things as much as possible but now i have 2 dinners planned tonight and tomorrow night so i know i wont be following all the "rules", here's hoping for the best.

Did I mention I really hate dieting? uggghh What happened to the 18 year old that could eat almost anything??

Sorry on a bit of a pity party this week I think, for some reason more emotional and sensitive than usual, perhaps the reason for not doing so well on the diet this week, damn emotional eating.

But seriously i am having on of those days where it takes me everything not to throw in the towel. A friend told me a story she heard from a guy I used to date, while we were at the gym this morning, he told her things didn't work out because of my weight, and damn it hurt. Not that it was anything serious with the guy but it still sucks to hear yeah hey you were just too fat.
So I am wallowing a bit, thinking how unfair it is that I am so much more active than I was a year ago, and I eat so much healthier than i used to, so why is it not just falling off?? Why cant just once something come easy. I want to be just the cute girl, not the cute fat girl for a change, sigh.

So anyway I apologize SP peeps for my vent but somehow i kind of treat this like a journal sometimes, helps me clear my head and commit to moving on and moving forward since I am telling it to someone that I will.

So I will eat correctly and healthy all day today and tomorrow, and splurge a little at dinner each night, of and a couple glasses of wine. But I still hit the gym every day except one this week, and that day reminded me how different my attitude is when I don't go, so a new commitment not to turn off the alarm again. SO the fitness part I have nailed.

Back to focusing on the eating part, I know I can do this, I will keep trying, I will try not to be jealous of those who seem to be doing it so much quicker and easier, and I will remember no matter what size that I am truly a great person.

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