Today I am celebrating 2 years of awesomeness here on Spark!
It's not technically my 2 year Sparkaversary because I joined Spark back in 2009. I lost 40 pounds, started to gain it all back, and disappeared. I came back a couple of times with some half-hearted attempts that never amounted to much. To be successful on this journey, I had to learn to leave all the past failures behind me. So I started fresh on March 20, 2012, and that was the beginning of my final weight loss attempt. I say that because I have no desire to EVER start from scratch again.
I am very proud of the fact that I have been here consistently for 2 years, through the good, the bad, and the ugly! I have mixed emotions about my progress these past 2 years, but the fact that I am still here and still trying is a huge accomplishment in my book.
These are my reasons for the mixed emotions: If you asked me 2 years ago where I had HOPED to be by now, I would have said at my goal. I would have even hoped to have been maintaining for a while too. If you ask me what I EXPECTED to have happened by now, I would have said I would have lost some, and then gained it all back plus more. It isn't that I am a negative person, but that is how all my previous weight loss attempts have gone... how was I to know that this one would really be THE ONE?
So I am in between where I hoped to be and where I expected to be. What is interesting is, my original goal weight was 180. I have now lowered that to 160, and wouldn't be opposed to getting down to 150-155. As my journey has progressed, my faith in myself and what I can accomplish has grown so much. I used to think it would be a dream just to get to 180. There was also the part of me that didn't fully think I could do it. I had set lofty goals in the past and never gotten close, so setting a "safe goal" was necessary. But now I am proud to say that I am working to get to a healthier weight! I refuse to settle for less than I deserve, and I will do the work to get there!
So I could focus on the fact that "I'm not where I had HOPED to be" or I could celebrate the fact that "I'm not where I EXPECTED to be" which was at an all time high weight. So I choose to focus on the positives. I am super proud of myself for not quitting! I am excited to be Sparking away and to have some of the most amazing Spark friends and supporters! It is no secret that I have been struggling lately (and many times throughout my 2 years), but sticking with Spark and receiving so much unconditional support has really prevented me from throwing in the towel during my toughest times.
So here I am, 2 years later, 80 pounds lighter, so much healthier, happier and more confident! If you were to ask me where I HOPE to be at the end of year 3 on this healthy journey: Maintaining my goal weight. If you ask me where I EXPECT to be by the end of year 3: Maintaining my goal weight. Attitude is everything, and my attitude has done a complete 180! Thanks to everyone for being so great and supportive, and here's to making year 3 my goal year!