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    UNSWEETMAMA   53,925
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fear


Wednesday, March 19, 2014

I had an "aha moment" about weight maintenance while watching The Walking Dead (of all things). A character who was in denial about how dangerous the walkers (zombies) are was playing with a walker. My husband said something about this character being stupid and I said that maybe she was so tired of being afraid that she just wanted the inevitable (death) to happen already so she wouldn't have to be afraid anymore.

Pause.
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Ever since I reached my goal weight a few weeks ago I have been struggling with how to transition into maintenance and not gain the weight back. I have even developed a scary pattern of binge eating several times a week.

Could I be subconsciously trying to end my fear of regaining the weight by binge eating which will (I know) cause weight gain? Because if it happens, then I don't have to be afraid of it anymore.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SUSIEMT 3/26/2014 9:05PM

    I would say you are trying to fulfill your own doomsday prophecy. But who of us hasn't been there and done that! This time I am not worried about gaining any of my weight back. I have spark people and a great support system at home. Am I perfect NO! I do know how to get back on track though!
I could probably stand to lose more weight but I am happy right where I am. To stay here I think I need to find a good balance between my calories and my exercise. But I have a great diet and exercise buddy!
Good luck with your binge eating. There are some wonderful articles here on Spark regarding self sabotage! Not knowing if you are truly hungry is a hard one to figure out. Before you eat anything try an 8 oz glass of water or a bottle of water then if you are hungry eat. Good luck!

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SUEPERWOMAN 3/20/2014 9:10PM

 

Wow, such wisdom here! For once at am at a loss for words, but big hugs for you, Steph!!

Love, Sue

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MATSCHI 3/20/2014 7:34PM

    Very interesting! Because you are actively dealing with this issue, you will be okay. I really believe this. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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TINAJANE76 3/20/2014 7:19PM

    First of all, you are totally not alone in being afraid of making the transition to maintenance. I was incredibly freaked out as I approached goal a few years ago--partially because I had never been successful at keeping weight off (fear of failure) and partially because I felt like I had no idea of what I was doing (fear of the unknown/change). I did my best to listen to advice from other people who had been in my shoes and also to pay attention to the things that were working and not working for me and to make SMALL adjustments as needed. We all have different approaches to maintenance, but many people seem to find that, in terms of lifestyle, you don't really need to change a whole lot once you reach goal. The bigger shift is often the mental one--being able to ride out storms like the one you're going through now and learning how to keep your motivation and healthy habits up in the real long term. It does start to get easier over time and the confidence you can gain by slogging through difficult periods, even if you're far from perfect, is priceless. Hang in there and do your best to push through your fear. The results will be worth it.
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VERSESTHATHURT 3/20/2014 11:00AM

    Just stopping in to say I read this. And, I think I got something in my eye while reading your blog and the comments. Lots of feels.

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VERSESTHATHURT 3/20/2014 11:00AM

    Just stopping in to say I read this. And, I think I got something in my eye while reading your blog and the comments. Lots of feels.

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4EVERADONEGIRL 3/20/2014 10:41AM

    Okay, here's my psychological take on it...it might be totally bogus or it might have a little truth in it. Oh, and it might just be the length of a small novel. HA!

You have absolutely THRIVED in losing weight because it was about taking control of something. You are a fairly analytical person so crunching the numbers and ensuring you were within a range and seeing that constant motivation of pounds disappearing was super motivating for you.

But now you find yourself in this different realm of not necessarily *needing* to constantly crunch the numbers, adding back in calories that were previously removed, and no longer seeing pounds disappearing, so the original motivation is kind of gone...sure you've changed your mindset a LOT, but perhaps there is part of you that still wants and NEEDS that motivation of seeing the scale move in a down direction. But you really shouldn't need to lose any more weight. You look fabulous and I am sure are right in your healthy weight range.

A comment you made on one of your recent blogs was something along the lines of "maybe I need to lose 10 more pounds"...and that's really what kind of clues me in that you might be subconsciously needing to see that scale motivation. Yes, it's kind of silly but we all have them...those things deep inside that drive us and this just might be one of those things for you.

So what do you do now? Obviously, you shouldn't keep sabotaging yourself so that you always have 5 or 10 pounds that you need to lose, thus giving you something to put your focus on and the motivation of watching the scale go down. Thankfully you have had this epiphany so that means you realize it isn't good. I'm far from an expert especially since I don't even know what it means to be at my goal weight (yet), but I think, for you, finding something else to motivate you and track might be beneficial. Maybe go for a streak of not binge eating since that is a trouble spot for you right now? Or set a new fitness goal that you can focus on...maybe master some of the difficult yoga poses that you've always wanted to do but weren't able to before. Scorpion??? Handstand??? I don't know...

Anywhoo...I really like what FINCHFEEDER80 said below...you were brave enough to come this far, you're brave enough to handle maintenance.

YOU CAN DO THIS, STEPHANIE!!! You know you can...you've proved it and more to yourself during this journey.

I know it's cheesy, but I am so stinkin' proud of you! It has been absolutely amazing to see you tackle this like a champ and show me, and everyone else, that it IS possible. Keep at it, girlie! You got this...

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FINCHFEEDER80 3/20/2014 9:42AM

    Congratulations on meeting your goal! I can't even begin to imagine the mental shift that has to occur here, but it can't be anything but tough. Because what part of the process would dare to be easy, right? emoticon If you were brave enough to come this far, then I KNOW you're brave enough to handle maintaince. I'm sure there's oodles of information here, and we're all cheering you on! Good luck to you, I know emoticon !

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RORYLYONS 3/20/2014 9:33AM

    emoticon on reaching your goal weight.... emoticon I still have a ways to go, but there are many who will support you on you journey to maintain your weight. emoticon

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SUBMOM2 3/20/2014 12:53AM

    Wow. That is interesting.

I'm not at maintenance yet, but I do get the fear.

All I can say is you've worked really hard, and clearly you have a ton of grit to have met your goal in a healthy fashion. You are worth the effort.

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LILMISSRED79 3/20/2014 12:40AM

    Very interesting and insightful! I've heard a lot of speakers say that we create what we fear, I think partially just because we dwell on it so much that it can't help but manifest, but perhaps that's WHY we create what we fear. To end the fear.

Thank you for giving me something to ponder!

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ALIIDA 3/20/2014 12:32AM

    Seconding that. It's a great page. I'm on a plateau just short of maintenance. I'm wondering how self-denying I have to be to go that last bit. I'm a bit scared, too.
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KELLIEBEAN 3/19/2014 11:18PM

    Ah self-sabotage! Been there. Maintenance can be scary. "Ok, I lost the weight I wanted to loose. Now what?!"

This is where lifestyle changes really come in to play.

Have you checked out the big page of links thread on the At Goal And Maintaining team? There is so much information there to help with maintenance!

We are all here to support you. You deserve to maintain your healthy lifestyle!

Congratulations on your accomplishments!

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