Someone suggested I write a poem about my friend, it might help me to write, to get out my feelings, and so I did, at least I tried.
I am feeling a little better.
And I did actually sleep last night, was sleeping so deeply when honey came in from work around 4 am, I neither heard him, nor understood what he was asking me.
Something about the tanning bed....
I guess it felt good to sleep and not wake every hour with him on my mind.
Sitting thru a little bit of the funeral, I had hoped to get some spiritual moment where it all dawned on me, life and death and such.
But the kind of funeral his family chose brought nothing but more pain.
Have any of you heard of "old regular baptist"???
If not, you are missing a great time, hell fire and damnation is our lot.
God is a vengeful God.
Woe is you who doesnt believe or kneel at the cross every Sunday, and so on and so on and boogie boogie boogie!!!
I know my friend would not have chosen such a funeral.
Had to be his family I guess.
To each his own.
I told my friend Amy last night that I want none of that when my time comes.
If there is to be any "preaching", I want it to be a biker minister, with a long braid and beard to his belly, with tattooes, and lots of piercings!!!
And I want him to say some sweet words about love and life and enjoying time here on this earth.
Then someone sing some Johnny Cash and everybody dance!!!
Lol....well, at least I didnt lose my sense of humor.
Here is the poem, such as it is that I wrote, I did it as a way of just releasing some of the pain inside, and put it in my writers workshop group feed.....
"An Ode to RDHJ"
""" We talked all the time...about nothing.
Sometimes, just to kill the time, or kill the silence of the time.
Sometimes he made me laugh, sometimes, he made me mad.
Most of the time, he made me happy, happy to have the friend I had.
Today he will be laid on a hill within the hills.....
No more will he message me to say did you hear that song?
No more will he ride his side by side all night long. Coveralls covered in all, dirt, mud, grass and sweat.
I have had many friends, but he was the best one yet!!!
and I watch you go....I watch my tears stream down, dripping onto my own shirt.
I watch a piece of my heart go with you as they lay you in that dirt.
and I whisper goodbye friend, and its picked up and carried away on the wind.
Maybe in time, it will come back around again.
I love you RDHJ, and I will never forget you young friend, I will stay behind and maybe one day I will see you again!"""""