Discouraged and confused
Tuesday, March 18, 2014
Well This sucks, I thought I posted a blog last night but apparently it didn't load. Sigh. Well here's a short version.
I am 9 months postpartum with an adorable baby boy. I have lost about 40 lbs of my baby weight but I still have about 20 to go. I gained alot during pregnancy. I was really hoping by this point I would have been closer to pre baby weight. After getting to pre pregnancy I will still be about 40 off from my goal.
So what my last blog mostly touched on was how frustrated I have become with losing weight. I am practicing attachment parenting, and it is wonderful. I love how close I am with my son, but I am really starting to feel like I cant get anything done. I rarely have any breaks. At least not consistent ones. I have started walking more and have attempted to start running. It seems everytime I start to get into a routine, I get sick. Right now I have mastitis. Before that it was a cold, and another cold, and another before that. This year I have had 4 colds. Before having a baby I would have maybe one a year. Im just so tired of my body not cooperating.
I had a traumatic birth and I seem to be having a hard time bouncing back from that. I cant tell you the last time I had a pain free day. Its either my back, my breast, or most recently I have had problems with taking my meds for the mastitis. They have gotten stuck in my esophagus at least 3 times. It causes extreme discomfort and not to mention the anxiety that it will happen again.
I have really turned to food for comfort. I have always been an emotional eater, but now it has almost turned into a food addiction. I know now that I did not have my eating under control before I got pregnant. There has always been an underlying problem.
Im not sure what to do or how to process whats really going on. Every time I try to talk myself into eating right, I end up binge eating by the end of the night.
Normally I try not to get to down in the dumps on my blogs because people want to read blogs that inspire them, not bring them down. But I guess I need to do this for me. I need to work through this some how.
Any advice or encouragement is greatly appreciated!