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EVER-HOPEFUL
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blog long over due

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

donīt know why i have been putting off this blog,i guess i have been a bit down.op went well no thanks to the surgeon who was suppose to do it.they did 15 incisions in total and i am really wasnīt expecting it to have hurt as much as it did ,still does to an extent and hoe tired it makes me there are times when i am so exhursted .i canīt remember feeling like this after other ops.maybe it is to do with the new medication i am on instead of my normal bloodthinner which i am on a rest from till after the next op scheduled 14th april they are called xarelto,or maybe it is the antibiotics as i seem to have got an imflamation of the leg.what ever it is making me down.i am still only suppose to be lying down or walking.no sitting and when standing have to lean against something(not that i feel i need too but drīs orders,lol)lotfi went to tunisia to see his family.he had already postponed it with me not being so good as he was originally suppose to have gone last tuesday.he wanted to postpone it again but i sort lied to him saying i was ok when i wasnīt really and insisted he went.for those of you who donīt know lotfiīs father is end stadium cancr and is now bedridden,incontanant and finding it hard to eat.we have seen him deteriating when we see him on skype.i think lotfiīs brother getting shot and killed didnīt help mentally when i saw lotfiīs dad on skype yesturday i knew i made the right decision to lie to lotfi how i was really feeling for the first time in along time his father had a smile on his face and looked animated ,alive.he was even sitting up in bed instead of the usual lying.the reason i said lotfi had to go now as after my next op we donīt know when lotfi would have been able to go and see his dad next as i am going to be away around 3 months with hospital and rehab and the dr said i should be prepared for 6months to a year alot of pain and that i will have to learn to walk all over again.we donīt know when the next time he would have been able to go or weather his father would still be here then.also a break before he has to look after the kids all alone when i am hospital will do him good.anyway because of having to lye down i am not so often on the computer or use my new (secondhand laptop)that lotfi got me so i will have computer access in rehab(isnīt that sweet)but even using the laptop i seem to get a stiff neck and sholders so donīt do it so often.anyway that is the update.take care and keep smiling and thanks for reading my blog.
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