Advertisement -- Learn more about ads on this site.


    NEWESTKT   10,372
SparkPoints
10,000-14,999 SparkPoints
 
 
Oy

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

So I have been doing ok lately. Not great on exercise, however, starting to make healthier choices in general. I have come home from the store at least 10 times now without purchasing some kind of chocolate or snack for me. The snack i keep going to now is just fruit so hopefully that will keep getting easier and easier and maybe just maybe i can even walk away from sugar all together. That would be great. I am blogging today because I have a confession. I got a membership to the YMCA in January this year and I am really struggling with my anxiety about it. I get a really red face fast when i work out. I have always been that way, even when I practiced basketball and softball 3-4 hours a day every day and was in shape, I still would have an instantly red face. Just one of those things when you have a fair complexion and red hair and when you are out of shape it just makes it all the more noticeable. I could talk in front of people publicly and my face will still turn beet red. So anyways I have this ridiculous fear of the gym I am paying to go to and still have not gone. Live in a small town now that I didn't grow up in but my boyfriend has lived here since he was 15. He knows a lot of these people who live around here for a long time now and he is very attractive and skinny and I well I am not skinny at all. I am actually at my highest weight ever in my entire life. I feel like if i go all these stupid little girls he hang out with when he was a teenager will be looking down on me if they see me. Or that they will spread rumors about how that hot guy has such a fat ugly girlfriend with a beet red face etc. I just want the thoughts to subside and for me to push through and just go there to even see what its about. I might end up loving it and be there all the time.. I just know that I need to go. At least try. Please self just try to push the stupid petty people out of your mind and do this for the new you.
SHARE
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


Be the First to Add Your Comment to the Blog Post


Log in to post a comment.