Trusting and investing in myself
Sunday, March 16, 2014
I've been noticing some changes in my body lately. Pants and shirts that were too tight are fitting again. I can pull my yoga pants up smoothly over my hips instead of needing to tug on them. I have an easier time getting up from the floor (I am a preschool teacher, so I am on the floor a lot). I have a lot more endurance for walking, trampoline jumping, and working out on the Gazelle. I'm really happy about this progress!
Right now, I am retaining a bunch of water, like I always do when I am premenstrual, so I am not getting cranked about the scale. I always go up 3-4 pounds, stay there for a bit, then quickly drop them and a pound or so more a few days after my period starts. I've realized that this is my body's regular pattern, so I just go on eating well and exercising and resting when I'm tired, and not worrying about the scale.
I am feeling more and more comfortable with my approach to getting healthy as time goes by. At first, in January, I was finding myself getting worried and stressed about food: was I eating too many carbs? Is it really okay to eat cheese? Should I make all my lunches vegetarian? Am I going to bloat up if I eat a bagel? I've stopped worrying so much about that, and giving myself permission to eat what I am hungry for and to stop when I am not hungry. Do I eat too much sometimes? Yup. Does that mean I am a failure, doomed to be fat forever? Of course not. I'm learning as I go, and mistakes are part of the process. I would never expect my preschoolers to just sit down and write their names perfectly every time they try. They are going to omit letters, write letters backwards, and scribble on the paper. That's part of the process of learning to write. I've let go of expecting perfection and quick results. I remember, back when I joined SP in 2012, thinking that I needed to set a specific weight goal within a specific time frame (lose 80 pounds in a year, for example). Trying to get healthy and lose weight in that mindset was stressful and anxiety-producing for me and I gave up. That approach works for some people, but not for me.
The other thing that does not work for me is counting calories every day. I HATE counting calories. It makes me paranoid and anxious about eating. I don't want to be afraid of food. I want to eat and be healthy. Some people find counting calories very helpful and that is great; I do not find it helpful, and there is no way I am doing it for a lifetime, so I am not going to do it now. I am logging my meals on another site a couple of times a week, to see if I am eating enough and getting enough nutrients. So far, I have been managing to get in the ballpark of where I should be eating, so I am going to trust my body and follow its signals. It might take me longer that way, but I'm okay with that.
I have about 350 fitness minutes this month, which is great. I bought a Gazelle last month (yeah, that weird Tony Robbins cross-country ski infomercial thingy) and I really love it. It was actually a lot more strenuous than I thought it would be. At first I could only do about 10 minutes on it, but I am up to 30 now. I can also balance on it without the handles, which is good for stability and the core. And I can watch Hulu and Netflix while I work out! Bonus! The other thing I like about the Gazelle is that it is my first real investment in my fitness. I have always had a really hard time spending money on myself because I have felt like I am not worth it, so spending $120 on a piece of exercise equipment was a way of telling myself that I am worth investing in.
I'm still loving the mini-tramp too, and walking, now that it is finally warming up. For strength, I'm doing Pilates, yoga, and bodyweight/stability ball/ resistance band/dumbbell videos. I like strength training.
Here's to a great week for all of us. Get out there and kick some a$$, in whatever way that works for YOU!