Friday, March 14, 2014
I wrote this on my FB page yesterday...
I LOVE my perfectly imperfect journey! There are times when "friends" will ask me why i'm eating what i'm eating (like a burger or pizza) and i simply tell them it's because i don't refuse myself anything. Once i start denying myself then i'm on a diet and eventually i'll stop doing healthy things all together. Ask anyone that has EVER been over-weight...i mean OBESELY over weight...and they'll share with you that throughout their journey they ate a burger and fries and pizza and whatever else they loved for the exact same reasons that i do. Here's the thing...a burger or some pizza will not kill me. NOW if i were to eat the amount or eat it as frequently as i had in the past is a different story. My weightloss is slow and i'm PERFECTLY fine with that because it allows me the time i need to adjust to the changes. It allows me to evaluate what i'm doing right or wrong in my progress. Would i love to lose the remaining 98lbs (Yes, I said it!) with the snap of a finger? NO. If i were to lose my weight more quickly I'm afraid that I won't learn the lessons I need to learn along the way. My journey is perfectly imperfect and as long as i'm still active and moving and eating nutritiously MOST of the time...well then that's a hell of a lot better than i was living a few years ago. But then that's just my attitude about it...
It's funny because no one ever asked me why i wrote this because i feel as though i had a little attitude in my post. On FB i've made it known that i'm losing weight, moving more and eating better. I don't hide behind anything. I've even posted what my current weight is and where i started. And sometimes i REALLY want a burger...or some pizza...or pecan pie (I'm from Chicago and now the south!) When someone sees me eating anything that they don't consider diet food they look at me as though i've been lieing to them the entire time. I see the side-ways glances and the pursed lips of those that want to see me fail. In reality it's not so much that they want me to fail as it is that they don't want me to succeed. Why? Because THEY are stuck!
I've never really been ashamed of my body but i have denied myself many things because of it. I think we all have this fear of being laughed at and for some of us it can easily stem back to when we were kids in school and those rotten little classmates would taunt us, point fingers and make up all kinds of insulting jokes on our behalf. But it's time...i mean REALLY time to step out a little further.
It's time to forget what society says is acceptable. It's time to shut our ears to the taunts of people that are so far gone past ignorant. It's time to FINALLY grab life by the horns and LIVE! Why can't we as obese people not enjoy everything that's ever been created? Who the hell cares if someone laughs? Who the hell cares if someone watches you? I am so much more active than most of the "thin" people I know. I say thin, because let's be honest. Thin does NOT equal healthy.
I get people asking me all the time why I don't go out to dinners or go and hang out with friends. Why i'm working out so hard and not having fun. REALLY?! First i take a deep breath so that i don't unleash on their stupidity. Then i simply state that I choose NOT to be lazy by sitting at someone's house doing nothing but watching tv and eating. I invite anyone to go on a walk or run with me. I have yet to have any takers. And as far as going out to dinners is concerned, i do go out but i CHOOSE when i go as long as it does not INTERFERE with my training schedule. You see, people hate when I started looking to take care of me FIRST. Those people in my life that are well-rounded understand this concept. They are the one's that ask in ADVANCE if i have plans or can go out to dinner. They are the one's that pat me on the back for doing a great job. They are the one's that are supportive and don't ever bring others down. They get it!
So i'll continue with what i'm doing because it works. I'm no longer living my life according to what someone else wants from me.