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    WOLFSWEET   10,636
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PAWSING for a Serious Discussion


Friday, March 14, 2014

Lately, we've had discussion on the Tiger Team about Challenging ourselves to be committed to our own wellness. It set me to thinking that I haven't really reached my greatest challenge with BCL yet, even with work stress or illness.

I am a survivor of child sexual abuse.

I've had plenty of therapy over the years to deal with the issues, but the one thing I've never been able to change is losing weight. Being larger has always been a defense mechanism and there seems to be an automatic trigger when I get to a certain size -- and I start eating heavily again. And I'm getting very close to that weight and size.

So how do you plan for that which is so automatic it just seems to take over? The only thing I haven't tried is to be honest and say what's going on when it happens and balance any stress. There's a wonderful group of people who will support me and that will make the difference this time.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
A_NEW_PAGE 3/15/2014 7:30AM

    Brenda, I'm so sorry that happened to you. I was molested as a child and admitting it to others and talking about it really helped. After I did that I finally stopped replaying it constantly in my mind. If you haven't seen one already, a therapist can really help. I'm here if you ever want to "talk." emoticon

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SALGUOD2 3/14/2014 9:28PM

    My wife is a survivor as well. It took her until she was 35 to finally admit what had happened to her. I know when we were going through therapy part of it was to figure out the triggers and stop them. One thing was for her to ask herself everyday where she was. So far it has helped. Something is still setting off the triggers.

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BLOOIZEANGEL 3/14/2014 5:23PM

    Of course we will support you! You have survived a terrible ordeal. I, we, know you can do this and when you need extra support all you have to do is come in to the Jungle. This is an amazing group of people! emoticon emoticon

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SUNPANTHER 3/14/2014 12:36PM

    Brenda - There certainly IS a difference this time! You go for it!

And you are not alone. While not a SA survivor, apparently according to my trauma-specialist therapist, I share many of the symptom traits of one. So much so she asked me to do a new course of treatment with a group of SAs. I won't go into details but I did find that like you I had triggers that were attached to aspects of body size and image. And getting to a certain weight range is one of those - and I am there now! While every 5 kg seems a small trigger hurdle for me, being in this exact weight range now is like climbing a psychological mountain...So - you are definitely not alone. (in fact I've never really gotten over this mountain before, so not sure how big it is - the trigger for me lasted well over the next 10 kg last time and I never quite made it through, but I've never had this level of awareness before, either!)

Thank you so much for sharing. I hope we can all help each other to make a difference this time. And because of your openness I have been able to see more clearly what has been happening this past few weeks in my own stuff.

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STORMYWEN 3/14/2014 11:12AM

    Be a survivor AND a fighter. When you see yourself getting to that same place visualize yourself putting on your boxing gloves and fighting for yourself. You will not be a victim anymore! You can do this, we are here for you!

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KCSMOM9 3/14/2014 10:19AM

    You are a survivor Brenda! You are conscious of what you have done in the past, so now it's time to make the choice to keep being a survivor. Remember you are a Tiger and we are all with you. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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