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Thursday, March 13, 2014

I use to watch this with my grandmother!!! If you've read these before, they're still good for a chuckle!!!

These great questions and answers are from the days when Hollywood Squares' game show responses were spontaneous, not scripted, as they were later in the show.

Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat?
A. Paul Lynde: Loneliness!
(The audience laughed so long and so hard it took up almost 15 minutes of the show!)

Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.

Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.

Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years...
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.

Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
A.. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.

Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?
A.. Rose Marie: No wait until morning.

Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency..

Q. What are 'Do It,' 'I Can Help,' and 'I Can't Get Enough'?
A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.

Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking?
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget.

Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.

Q.. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?
A.. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.

Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.

Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.

Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A.. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.

Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?

Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark..

Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.

Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.

Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?

Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A. Charley Weaver: His feet.

Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?
A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh.


So, keep laughing emoticon emoticon

emoticon Mary Anne

Member Comments About This Blog Post:

    emoticon I'm not getting older because you keep me laughing with your posts, thank you!!

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IMEMINE1 3/14/2014 8:04PM

    Those were the days. emoticon

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BUTEAFULL 3/14/2014 7:00PM

    I would love a new version of that show be made

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    I loved that show.
And the things they almost said...

It has been a beautiful sunny Friday here.
The squirrels have pushed my buttons just one time too many.
I have gotten out the have a heart traps (2) and baited them. I will have to bring them in at night. I don't want to take a chance on catching one of those black & white Woods' Pussies. They make such a stink. I only want to thin down the squirrel population. I am pretty sure where I will transport the little darlin's. A nice woodsy area without residential housing close to hand. I won't place them in someone else's backyard. Someone told me that it was against the law to trap n' release them... I think relocating them is better than killing them.
Well, the sun is just about to set. So I will go out to the mailbox retrieve the mail and bring in the traps for tonight.
Hope you have a great weekend.
Love and Hugs, Audra

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FALLENSHORT2013 3/14/2014 12:36PM

  I remember watching this show---I loved it and wish it was still on. Unfortunately the celebrities can't last forever, either, I loved Paul Lynde and Charlie Weaver!

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MOM2BOYZ2GIRLZ 3/14/2014 9:39AM

    Not a good thing to read this while drinking. So funny, I used to watch that show as a kid also. I didn't get the jokes back then.

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LEW0213 3/14/2014 9:31AM

    I remember watching this show and it was very funny. Just don't seem to have comedians like that anymore. Paul Lynde couldn't say anything that wasn't funny! Thanks for posting this, Mary Anne. I needed the laughs this morning. Hugs, Linda

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KITT52 3/14/2014 8:22AM

    very funny...I remember the show

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TWEETYKC00 3/14/2014 7:24AM

    gotta love em!

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DOROTHYBERO 3/14/2014 6:15AM


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NEW-CAZ 3/14/2014 4:01AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ARTJAC 3/14/2014 12:14AM


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LOUIE-LILY 3/13/2014 9:42PM

    Hahaha, and with that laugh I'm going to sleep
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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KAYDE53 3/13/2014 9:42PM

    I remember, and when they had those classic comedians like the ones you mentioned on there, it was hilarious!! emoticon emoticon

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SOPHIEDO13 3/13/2014 9:18PM

    Memories ;-)

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LIVE_AMAZINGLY 3/13/2014 8:58PM


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MOMMA_BEAR_69 3/13/2014 8:46PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

THANK YOU Mary Anne for making me laugh so hard this evening!!! I always loved watching Hollywood Squares. I read these to Ken and he is still laughing.

Blessings and hugs,

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LIVINGFREE19 3/13/2014 8:43PM

    I remember this show!

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THETURTLEBEAR 3/13/2014 8:21PM

    I used to watch that all the time growing up. They were hysterical.

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1CRAZYDOG 3/13/2014 8:21PM

    That was such a funny show! Paul Lynde was my favorite. Thanks for sharing.

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EABL81 3/13/2014 8:14PM

    So funny! emoticon

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CATLADY52 3/13/2014 7:53PM

    That show had all of us laughing! I miss those days. emoticon emoticon

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PHOENIX1949 3/13/2014 7:40PM


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MARIWELL 3/13/2014 7:32PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CHACHAOREO 3/13/2014 7:12PM

    Loved that show and loved those people!!

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DEBBLO 3/13/2014 7:09PM

    Those were the days! LOL

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NORASPAT 3/13/2014 7:09PM

    GREAT!! THANKS MaryAnne (((((((HUGS))))))

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NAYPOOIE 3/13/2014 7:05PM


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