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Thank God For a Super Support System...

Thursday, March 13, 2014

I'm not doing so well right now. I have come through a pretty dark tunnel and managed to come out on the other side pretty much intact. There are times when it is easy to almost forget what it was like. And then, for what seems like no reason at all, life comes knocking and I find myself feeling like cowering in a corner and telling the world to please go away and leave me be. Questioning and second guessing everything. Wondering why I'm not getting as much attention as I think I should. Wondering if what is going on is just me WANTING attention. (how could it be anything else, worthless human that I am??) Wondering if I'm being too overbearing. Wondering why I would think anyone could ever like me in the first place?? Wondering why, oh WHY can't I just be better, like nothing bad ever happened in the first place. Why can't I be "normal"?!
Now, I understand that this really is "normal". I'm not unique. And that it will pass. It always has, it always will. But I kind of like that "pink cloud" and I really don't like it when it turns gray! And understanding doesn't help when I'm feeling the tears falling as I'm trying to go to sleep.
Sooo, I'm doing the healthy thing and I'm writing about it. NOT hiding under the bed and waiting for it to go away. Or not...which is my biggest fear of all. What if it doesn't this time? See what I mean? Who is this knocking around in there trying to destroy all the work I've done? What does she want from me? Certainly not to go back, we were so very scared and unhappy there. Ugh...STOP, please!!
I don't have my therapist anymore so you guys will have to help me out here and be her for me. Thank you for being my sounding board.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GEEMAWEST 3/17/2014 12:37PM

    Hang in there, Terri. You will come out the other side stronger than ever.
Spark has the best 'therapists' available. emoticon

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CHRISTINEBWD 3/16/2014 5:05PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

I hope the sunshine lifts your spirits and you are feeling better soon!

Christine

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MARINEMAMA 3/14/2014 6:10PM

    I am here cheering for you!!, YOU are emoticon

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AJDOVER1 3/14/2014 1:40PM

    I wish you could see yourself as I see you.
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DONNABRIGHT 3/14/2014 7:13AM

    I'm in a bit of a rough spot at this time, too so I can understand how you feel. Some nights I swear I did not close my eyes at all. We'll get through this one day, one hour, or one minute at a time. Much love and prayers to you.
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1HAPPYSPIRIT 3/13/2014 9:43PM

    emoticon emoticon

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MORTICIAADDAMS 3/13/2014 9:00PM

    I, for one, am more than glad to be your support system. I know what a wonderful person you are and what you have had to overcome to be the person you are now. You are right, we all feel vulnerable at times. And lonely. And confused. It's a scary feeling. But, we are not alone if we have friends who are ready to listen and help us through the rough spots. Keep in touch with me. You can get through this. emoticon

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NANCYPAT1 3/13/2014 6:08PM

    Me too - it is a challenge when we go through a rough spell. Be blessed and have a wonderful rest of your week.

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PAMNANGEL 3/13/2014 5:30PM

    emoticon Boy do I know that feeling all too well! emoticon

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