Wednesday, March 12, 2014
So I've know this, it's not something new, I haven't just had an epiphany or anything.... It's more like a solid realization of an ignored fact.
I've often called myself an opportunistic eater.....given the opportunity i will eat. I've know this I've found tricks and different approaches that have helped me live with this. I don't bring a lot of junk into my house. I prep veggies and things for easy snacks. I drink lots of water and chew gum. I don't deny myself, I keep portions in check....Etc etc.... I've managed to loose weight and keep it off, but I have never actually dealt with this need to eat just for the sake of eating.
This urge has come back recently, not that it ever really left, but suddenly it seems to have taken control of me. I find myself multiple times a day in the pantry.. Just grazing. I get done eating and I think...ohh I need a snack...and the scary thing is that often I haven't made the conscious decision to eat but just act on auto pilot. I haven't gained weight....yet, but it can feel the change in my desire to be active and my stamina as well as my overall food choices and I don't like that.
So I came to the realization that I couldn't continue to ignore this problem, couldn't push it aside and live with it any longer but would finally have to face it head on. And let me tell you, it sucks.
So I decided no junk, the first few days I focused on no sweets. The first few days I felt like an addict going through withdrawals I found myself in the pantry multiple times just pacing and at least once with my hand elbow deep in the 3lb bag of Carmel corn(my guy likes his sweets), but I managed to abstain. There were a few times when I swear I was a step away from chewing my nails! After a few days I began to further question myself and extended my "ban" beyond sugar to crackers and basically any unplanned snacking. It seems to be working for me, my preoccupation seems to be lessening. It's been almost a week, I know I will never cut junk out entirely and will not be able to abolish all forms of snacking, but my goal is to get control back, to eat a snack/ dessert because I have CHOSE to and to fully enjoy that morsel and that moment.