Tuesday, March 11, 2014
On January 10, 2014, the life that I had been building up came crashing down.
My boyfriend of almost 5 years died in an automobile accident. I lost the love of my life, my best friend, my partner, my therapist, my rock, my other half... I felt like I couldn't go on. And it's been this way for two months.
But now, slowly, I am starting to look up from the bottom of my hole. I remember his joyful spirit, positive energy, and attitude to live every day to the fullest. "Life is good," he always used to tell me. And it is. Life presents us with countless opportunities, and we only have to take that leap, grabbing on and holding tight, to reap the benefits.
Our capacity to feel, and heal, is boundless. We exist on a continuum, a spectrum of emotions that create relativity in our lives. It's hard to understand pure happiness without experiencing pain, its opposite. And fulfillment cannot be truly appreciated without knowing desire. Nor satisfaction, without disappointment.
And now, I have felt loss so deeply, an emptiness so vast... that I know what it means to have been full. And I know that I am strong, I will pick myself up, and slowly rebuild. They say a broken bone mends itself even stronger; I wonder if the same is true of hearts and spirits and minds.
I don't have exceedingly high expectations for myself at this time. I'm just trying to stay relatively healthy, not give into the urge to drink myself into a numb oblivion. Exercise always helps me to feel better... lighter and more lifted. But I have the looming deadlines of my final semester at school, the last one to finish my Bachelor's degree. I'm already about 2 months behind in one class. And I will do my best to catch up, as I've consulted with my professor.
I will return to what I know to organize what little focus and motivation I can rekindle; that is, the list-making!
-Catch up with assignments!
-Stay on track with Weekly Clinicals!
-Complete Graduation requirements, including CLEP Exam for Western Civ I
For Mental Health:
-Start my day with some simple yoga poses, learn the sun salutation!
-Incorporate Meditation daily
-Laugh! Meet New People! And stay connected with Old, True Friends!
-Get outdoors daily, experience the natural world!
For Physical Health:
-Gym Routine--> Alternating Upper/Lower Body Workouts 4 days/week
-HIIT Cardio 4 days/week
-Follow Clean(er) eating plan--> More fruits/veggies/proteins
-Drink more water! At least 8 cups/day