Tuesday, March 11, 2014
Today I feel so inspired by a true friend. She helped me see that my goal is my own and to do it for me and not for everyone else. I feel that I can do anything as long as I set my mind to it. I can feel that my heart soul body and spirit is starting to work as one now because I want to reach my goal no matter how long it takes and how hard it will be for me. Every thing I have tried so far has failed and I know now that failure is part of success and for me success is what i want from this journey.
I realized that I have been hard on myself and I know now that its not right to put myself down all the time. I plan to look at my goals and change things up a little. Instead of setting goals that will take forever to accomplish I plan to set small goals first and when I reach one of them I will reward myself with something that I enjoy.
My goals are ridiculously set to high like losing 75 lbs by July I think it should be 75 lbs by January 2015 instead. I am planning on losing atleast 30 by July instead because that is almost the amount that I put on in the last few months.
I will succeed at this no matter what others think of me especially my family. I want to feel good about myself and be able to look in the mirror and say I did it. I want to see my waist line again and see my chest smaller and even have my legs stronger. I will do this my way. A good friend once told me that if you want it bad enough then go for it and you know she was right. Now she is with god in heaven and I miss her because we started this journey together. Her heart was pure gold and now I hold her in my heart and I think of the day when we walked 3 city blocks together. That is will never happen again because I dont like to walk alone.
I am walking this new journey alone so I can clean the bad thoughts I have been feeling as you could tell from my last blog. My mind has been poisoned for so long that I lost track of who I am and what I want out of life.
I swear that I will get my act together and start looking towards a better future for me and only me. I am what counts and not my family who has put me down for so long.