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Coming Clean...

Saturday, March 08, 2014

So there is a reason I've been absent and as a result I've gained. I've gained about 20 pounds of the 40 I lost back and am back in the 200s. I wish there was someone else to blame, but I only have myself to blame. I have more bad days than good right now, but I'm trying to get back on track. I started losing traction in Nov and with the holidays, yeah, not so great.

At the end of October I reconnected with an old flame. It had been 8 years since we had seen each other and the break up the first time around had been my doing. However, I had thought of him from time to time. We got back together and it seemed like this time it was going to work. Well, I won't go into details, but 2 weeks ago he broke up with me and took my heart with him. To say it took me by surprise is an understatement. Since then I've been yo-yoing somedays it's all I can do to eat and then others it's a battle to stop.

In other news for the last week my walking partner has been sidelined with an injury. Ares, somehow tore off part of his toenail, we're talking limping and blood. So the vet after prescribing antibiotics and pain meds, also prescribed bed rest or as much bed rest as you can get an energetic 3 year old dog to do. However, tomorrow I am going to take him out and see if a little light activity doesn't do him some good, he's getting cabin fever.

I write all this to make myself accountable. I'm so tired of all this and I'm going to try this thing the "SPARK" way. Which means that on my dining room table right now is the vision collage I'm working on. I'll post a picture when I'm done. Which means I'm going to try to blog more often and track even when it's awful. I love this community for the amazing support I've found here and I'm going to try to be worthy of that support. I just needed to get this off my chest. Good night and God bless!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    You got this....sorry for the break up.....but now is the time to really focus on you and do the right things for you! You deserve it! the only thing for me is to treat food like drugs and get rid of the addictive junk/processed foods. they just make your body want more as there is no nutrition in them...your body wants good food for fuel. Once I went "cold turkey" and got the junk out of my diet I don't crave it at all.
    Go for it are sooo worth it!
    1468 days ago
    'm so sorry to hear about all of this. But you took the first step and acknowledged it. You're here, and you're going to get back on track. I've gained 20 since September and and I'm finally working on getting it back off. You can do, don't be too hard on yourself.
    1469 days ago
    Most of us regain at least some of what we have lost at some point - especially when life hands us tough times!! You're doing exactly the right thing. Get back on board the Spark train!! I'll be looking forward to seeing your collage.

    1469 days ago

    Comment edited on: 3/9/2014 10:49:05 AM
    I am so sorry that your relationship was terminated. That truly hurts and it's hard to bounce back from something like that. Please hang in there and do not give up. Start over fresh! You can do this!!

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    1469 days ago
    it took a lot to own it ..woot!!! welcome back and all the best emoticon !
    1469 days ago
  • TIGER_LILY_613
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    1469 days ago
    Life has given you a mighty blow. It's no wonder your journey was derailed for a while. Falling in love means eating for joy. Heartache is so painful in means eating to feel better. Too bad the eating doesn't fix things. I once lost 80 lbs and regained 60 prior to restarting this journey. I do understand how easy it is to regain. When my journey derailed, I struggled daily against compulsive overeating. There is hope and you can get back on track.
    Some things I've learned that are helping me this time. Life will always be putting speed bumps in our path. When they happen sometimes it is hard and food happens. When I have a difficult time, I try to assess and figure out what is causing the problem. Who hurt me and why am I listening to those negative inner voices. "Eat it. You know you want it. It'll make you feel better." An emotional blow can still trigger old patterns of behavior. When the scale gives you unpleasant news, try to reframe the inner message to the positive.
    "It's been a long time since I reacted this way" or recognize your bodies reaction to overeating or eating junk food when you feel less healthy and less energetic after eating one unhealthy meal. Even after a prolonged time of overeating find a positive way of looking at it as becoming aware that there is still something inside, some pain or some trigger that I was unaware of, that I now know needs to addressed and corrected. Start working to find that new trigger and then find a way to deal with it. It gives you something to do, a task, instead of just feeling.
    For now, your task is to plan your meals, honestly track your nutrition and drink the water. Once you get started again, you can work on your triggers and ways to deal with your pain without overeating. You can do this. It is possible. It's better than doing nothing. Be fearless just for today.

    1469 days ago
    You're back and you're committed.
    Welcome Back!
    We're in this together!
    1469 days ago
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