Saturday 3-8-2014 Assortment
Saturday, March 08, 2014
Seven year old Johnny had finished his summer vacation and gone back to school.
Two days later his teacher phoned his mother to tell her that John was misbehaving.
"Wait a minute," she said. "I had Johnny here for two months and I never called you once when he misbehaved."
Stupid Things Actually Said By Soccer Commentators
1. Well, it's Liverpool two, Ipswich nil, and if the score stays this way, I've got to fancy Liverpool for the win.
2. He had an eternity to play that ball, but took too long.
3. And so they have not been able to improve on their 100% record.
4. With the last kick of the game, he scored with a header.
5. Well, it's a fabulous kaleidoscope of colour: almost all the Brazilians are wearing yellow shirts.
6. If that had gone on, it would definitely have been a goal.
7. Their manager, Howard Wilkinson, isn't here today, which strongly suggests that he may be elsewhere.
8. I am a firm believer that if one team scores a goal, the other need to score two to win.
9. If a team scores early on, it often takes an early lead.
10. You cannot possibly have counted the number of passes made, but there were eight.
Q: Which creatures can reveal, but only to someone clever enough to catch them — the location of buried treasure or gold hidden at the end of the rainbow?
A: LEPRECHAUNS little men who resemble elves.
•A B-25 bomber airplane crashed into the 79th floor of the Empire State Building on July 28, 1945.
•If your stomach didn't produce a new layer of mucous every two weeks, it would digest itself.
•Every year, kids in North America spend close to half a billion dollars on chewing gum!