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    UNSWEETMAMA   77,492
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just a thought

Friday, March 07, 2014

After some starts and stops, I finally finished reading Women Food and God by Geneen Roth.

Overall, I found it helpful and thought-provoking. But there was at least one thing that she said that I disagree with. She said (and I'm paraphrasing) that when you eat to avoid feeling unpleasant emotions like sadness, after you eat the sadness is still there, but you've added another layer to your own suffering because now you also have guilt and/or shame about what you ate.

I think that (for me) the guilt/shame is part of the distraction. It's not an unintended consequence. It's the goal. I am reinforcing my belief that I am not worthy of love and that I deserve to be fat and unhappy.

Member Comments About This Blog Post:

    1st the choice of guilt/fear in the subconscious mind, then projected into conscious thought. then denied, then acted out thru the method of food, then experienced as guilt etc. it all happens very swiftly. you both are correct in your own way.

Comment edited on: 3/11/2014 11:50:14 AM

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TRIANGLE-WOMAN 3/9/2014 9:55AM


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SUEPERWOMAN 3/8/2014 12:16PM

Beautiful. I totally agree!
I am certain that when I get into relationship situations where I am feeling frustrated/unloved/disappointed/dis
missed that I RUN to the food. And though at the time it seems unconscious, it is definitely intentional in the sense that then I can be so mad and disappointed in MYSELF that it is THE PERFECT distraction.

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OSDOWNS 3/8/2014 10:38AM

    Interesting thought.

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4A-HEALTHY-BMI 3/8/2014 8:07AM

    I used to feel that way, too.

And when bad things happened to me, I'd try and find ways to blame myself for them, either directly, or indirectly.

I'm really working on that. Even if I did contribute to the situation somehow, heaping guilt on top of it doesn't help me move forward.

I'm working on practicing forgiveness of myself.

Comment edited on: 3/8/2014 8:07:47 AM

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CHRISTA2016 3/8/2014 6:40AM

    Yes, that makes sense. I've had a similar thought. That I overeat so I feel bad about my eating and so I can 'forget' about the initial issue that caused me to feel bad.

Comment edited on: 3/8/2014 6:40:47 AM

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LILMISSRED79 3/7/2014 11:38PM

    That's an interesting distinction. I suppose it's one of those things that can vary from person to person, but that's a fantastic gem of insight there. I think I probably do it to reinforce the "I'm not good enough" belief, too, although not consciously of course.

Thank you so much for sharing! I read a different book by Geneen Roth and found it to be insightful yet terrifying all at once.

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ALIIDA 3/7/2014 11:34PM

    I get that. Is articulating it a path to healing? emoticon

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