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    HEPKITTY   35,742
30,000-39,999 SparkPoints

I don't want just one brownie, I want ALL the brownies.

Thursday, March 06, 2014

My husband is a former smoker who quit almost 20 years ago. A couple years ago, we were talking about it, and he said he never wanted to start smoking again because he knew he wouldn't just want one cigarette, he wanted all the cigarettes. He wanted to smoke and smoke and smoke.

I laughed when I heard that because that's how I feel about food! When I make cookies, I don't want just one cookie, I want all the cookies and all the dough until I'm physically sick! I don't want just one piece of pizza, I want to eat pizza until I can't move. I don't want one piece of See's candy, I want to sit on the couch with the box until I rummage through the paper cups with my fingers desperately hoping there's one dark chocolate truffle left hiding underneath.

I have to remind myself of this every time I have that urge to eat. I've had my breakfast, or lunch, or dinner, or my snack, and I want more. More more more more! I think, one more serving will make me happy, full and satisfied. But then I stop and say, Elyse, you know that's not true. You'll have another brownie and the drive will STILL be there. You'll STILL want more. You'll still have to stop yourself, deal with the irritation and antsy-ness, but you'll also be over your calorie range and have a heaping helping of guilt in the pit of your stomach too.

When I talk it out with myself like that, I can withstand the temptations. And when admit, right when I sit down to eat, that this is it, there won't be anymore, I slow down and enjoy the portion I've allotted myself.

Being an emotional, compulsive eater is exhausting. It's like any other addiction and I know I'll deal with it my whole life. But I love that I have Spark to help me work it all out. I can come here and share with other people who deal with the same thing.

And now, I'm off to work out! Yeehaw!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BIGBONED8 3/7/2014 3:09PM

    I was the same way when I was a smoker, and now as an eater. You'd never guess from your photo that you had any weight to lose!

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YELLOWDAHLIA 3/6/2014 10:03AM

    Wow! You just described me to a "T."

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AUNTRENEE 3/6/2014 9:43AM

    I hear you on wanting all of one thing, not just a piece. Its hard. Thanks for the inspiration!

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