Wednesday, March 05, 2014
hi all--well my dad is in the nursing home and my mom is still sleeping in the office/spare bedroom. the move went smoothly enough. i didn't get a call and my brother and mom came here and had lunch before my brother went on home. later that day mom and i went back to check on dad--and i saw my dad cry for the first time in my life. i guess he had cried at home a day or two before the move as well, and now he is mad, wants to die, thinks my mom abandoned him to run off and party (at 86 i don't think that's going to happen). it was hard to watch, but i know this is the dementia talking--some of his editors are gone. he agreed to this move and knew it was going to happen, but the reality of it has hit him now. the nursing home folks told us this is very normal behavior, and advised us that the best thing is to stay on the sidelines for a little while until he gets used to the transition. my mom had already told him she would join him for lunch today, so she is going to see that through, then step back and give time a chance to help him out. she is holding together pretty well--being brave and positive, but i know this is shattering to her--she has never seen him cry either--the anger she has dealt with in the past, but the crying is new. he is fine with the nursing home people--we took him out to the dining room and got him settled at his table for dinner and he was fine--smiling and saying hello. so the sight of my mom is triggering the distress. i think she is getting the first good nights sleep she has had in many a day--both from sheer exhaustion and from not having to awaken in the night to check on him. today she wants to inquire about one of the senior apartments i had gotten a line on--i think she wants to move down here sooner rather than later--which is fine. so that's where we are right now--will have to see what today brings. have a great wednesday!