Tuesday, March 04, 2014
Ok deep breath...here goes
I have been known for positive blogs for several years, and for the past 6 months I just haven't had it in me. Some weeks everything seems to go wrong, and then sometimes those weeks become months. I feel like every time I say "what else could possibly go wrong" the world has been kind enough to provide me with an answer to that question within hours. Some days - it really doesn't feel like it is worth getting out of bed.
I haven't wanted to think about things, so I most certainly have not wanted to write about them. Still not ready to discuss much but here are the basics: marriage in bad shape, despite the fact that we love each other still. He moved out the 1st week of January (no negative comments please, he is my best friend and this was a mutual decision, but that doesn't make it any easier). Next: job causing me significant distress - politics that I can't get into here, but it's time to reassess life. Next: cancer scare in the middle of February - biopsy came back pre-cancer, will need additional procedures, but nothing on fire right now, thank God.
So what have I done?
Tried everything I can to focus on healthy outlook, looking SOOOOO hard for any silver linings. Reminding myself that change can be good, and that sometimes I need a new adventure.
A few chocolate binges occurred for certain, and that needs to stop. Lots of skiing and hiking occurred (and balanced the chocolate problems) as I tried to find some endorphins, or on some days, just a reason to get up.
So there it is. I am here, sorta at least.
At least I am trying. Some days I don't get very far, but I keep trying.