Monday, March 03, 2014
good morning everyone! well--this is going to be a significant week here if all goes according to plan. Tuesday my dad is supposed to be moving into the nursing home near to us. my mom is then going to come and stay with us for awhile to help her work through this transition. I have her little bedroom set up in our office and logistically the house is as ready as I can make it. this is uncharted territory for us in many ways--first, the most obvious is simply the fact that this is happening to my dad, and my mom has never experienced this kind of a loss in her life. she is a master at hiding from uncomfortable things, so working through this kind of grief and upheaval is new to her.
second--rob and I have never had children, and outside of his mother who would stay with us for periods of time--we have never had someone else living in our house. my mom is a fairly low profile person, and she and I get along fairly well with respect to communication, so I don't anticipate a lot of difficulty here. I am strong enough in my own right now that I can tell her the truth about things without worrying whether she likes what I am saying or not.
my mom has been caring for my dad for the last 5 years, and it has taken a physical toll on her. she has lost more weight than is good for her and her overall strength has decreased. I really hope I can help her to build back up so she can enjoy and participate in this part of her life to the fullest. this will add to my dad's happiness as well. its going to be a bit rough for awhile while we all make this adjustment. I have a deep well of memories concerning a time when I really needed help badly and my parents completely turned their backs on me--so I had to wade through the swamp by myself--with only my older brother for support. I have come to understand that a part of me will never forget this treatment, but I have to remember the lesson I learned--how hard and sad it was to be in that position. knowing that makes me determined not to let someone else be in that position if I can help it--even if the person is the one who hurt me so deeply in the past. the only way I can handle this situation and keep my sanity intact is to be happy in the doing of it. so that is where I am right now--I have chosen to be positive and happy that I have been given this chance to act. the past is immutable--only the present and future are where the potential for growth lies now. I have chosen to embrace this experience and make it a positive one. staying steady on spark is one of the ways I will keep myself moving forward.
have a great day, everyone!