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25 Things that runners say ...

Monday, March 03, 2014

... that non-runners find just plain silly or, worse, can't be sure if it's even in English.

1) Time for new shoes, I’ve already run 500 miles in the ones I have!
-- It’s true. You can’t run in old broke down shoes. And you have to break in the new ones.

2) She(WMBO) is going to kill me when I bring home another pair of running shoes, I only have 10 pair in the closet, 3 by the door and 2 she doesn't know about in the back of the car.
-- Hey. I’ve looked in her closet and she still has more shoe than I do.

3) Wow! Compression socks for only $45! Get two pair!
-- Hey they’re normally $60 a pair. Yes, $60 socks, but they aren’t just any socks. They’re COMPRESSION socks.

4) I have to cut my toenails so I don't bruise them and lose anymore this time around!
-- Toenail care is so important.

5) You only want to run 3 miles? Okay, I’ll just do four before we meet up and then run 3 with you.
6) Going for a short run today. About four miles.
-- Well, sure. And my long run is 13.

7) I went out for my LSD today.
-- Relax, That’s Long Slow Distance.

8) If I can just PR, I’ll be happy for the rest of the year. And really happy if I can BQ. Of course I can’t use my iPod because then I might get DQ’d. I may just come in first in my AG. But in the end I will just be happy to finish.
-- Not really. I want that PR. (PR=Personal Record, BQ=Boston Qualify, DQ=DisQualify, AG=Age Group like 60-65 Men)

9) This marathon fee was only $75!
-- Wow! $75 for a Marathon? Sign me up!

10) No finisher’s medal? Forget it. I only run for bling.
-- Yep. I have heard it. Where’s the glory of the run, the competition, the … what do you mean no shirt either? Not even a cotton one? Count me out.

11) Fartlek.
-- Just that word. It's a real word. Google it.

12) Woo-hoo! Only 10 miles to go.
-- Now I know I will finish.

13) It's 40ºF out, I think it's time for shorts.
-- We are getting into some good running weather there.

14) I got this IT band thing going on.
15) This plantar fasciitis is gonna slow me down today.
16) The doctor say I should rest it up, so I’ll only run 5 miles today.
-- We are such bad patients.

17) Hey honey. How about we go to Ireland for our 40th anniversary next August. I know our anniversary is in June but there's a race in Dublin in August.
-- Yes, but honey … but honey … Look I never ask you to got to my races. You can stay in the hotel, or go shopping while I run.

18) Oh. You want to go to Scotland too? Let’s see if anyone is running while we are there. Oh Look! This little island off the coast has a half.
-- I know there’s no hotel on the Island. You can stay in the town where the ferry pocks while I go live in a tent on a windswept rock in the Atlantic Ocean for three days of our vacation. It’ll be an adventure.

19) I can't go on vacation that week because I have a race that weekend.
-- Look, i just paid $75 for that race. Going to the beach that weekend would be a waste.

20) I'm only running the half this weekend.
- Because I ran a full last weekend.

21) Hmmm. Kenyans.
-- OK. Kenyans also means Ethiopians, Ghanans, Moroccans, pretty much anyone from Africa who is leading the race by a half mile.

22) Why don't we just tack a long cool down on to make it an even 20 on the day?
-- Who wants to admit to running only 19.5 miles. Even numbers are best. Until race day. Then it’s 13.1 or 26.2.

23) Ugh, my Garmin still doesn’t have a signal.
-- If you see someone walking around in running gear looking at their watch, then at the sky then at their watch, they are waiting for a satellite. To track their run. Doesn’t everyone do that?

24) Saturday: (before 5k) Well, I'm running a half marathon tomorrow, so I don't know how I'll do.
Sunday: Well, I ran a 5k yesterday pretty much all out, so I don't know how I'll do.
-- Then you PR both.

25) It looked like a PR, but I think the course was short.
-- I have a 23:52 PR for the 5k but I have never come close to that since. I think the course was short by as much as a quarter mile. But PR is a PR so I should take it? But I paid for 3.1 miles not 2.76 miles. I was cheated.
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