Monday, March 03, 2014
... that non-runners find just plain silly or, worse, can't be sure if it's even in English.
1) Time for new shoes, Iíve already run 500 miles in the ones I have!
-- Itís true. You canít run in old broke down shoes. And you have to break in the new ones.
2) She(WMBO) is going to kill me when I bring home another pair of running shoes, I only have 10 pair in the closet, 3 by the door and 2 she doesn't know about in the back of the car.
-- Hey. Iíve looked in her closet and she still has more shoe than I do.
3) Wow! Compression socks for only $45! Get two pair!
-- Hey theyíre normally $60 a pair. Yes, $60 socks, but they arenít just any socks. Theyíre COMPRESSION socks.
4) I have to cut my toenails so I don't bruise them and lose anymore this time around!
-- Toenail care is so important.
5) You only want to run 3 miles? Okay, Iíll just do four before we meet up and then run 3 with you.
6) Going for a short run today. About four miles.
-- Well, sure. And my long run is 13.
7) I went out for my LSD today.
-- Relax, Thatís Long Slow Distance.
8) If I can just PR, Iíll be happy for the rest of the year. And really happy if I can BQ. Of course I canít use my iPod because then I might get DQíd. I may just come in first in my AG. But in the end I will just be happy to finish.
-- Not really. I want that PR. (PR=Personal Record, BQ=Boston Qualify, DQ=DisQualify, AG=Age Group like 60-65 Men)
9) This marathon fee was only $75!
-- Wow! $75 for a Marathon? Sign me up!
10) No finisherís medal? Forget it. I only run for bling.
-- Yep. I have heard it. Whereís the glory of the run, the competition, the Ö what do you mean no shirt either? Not even a cotton one? Count me out.
-- Just that word. It's a real word. Google it.
12) Woo-hoo! Only 10 miles to go.
-- Now I know I will finish.
13) It's 40ļF out, I think it's time for shorts.
-- We are getting into some good running weather there.
14) I got this IT band thing going on.
15) This plantar fasciitis is gonna slow me down today.
16) The doctor say I should rest it up, so Iíll only run 5 miles today.
-- We are such bad patients.
17) Hey honey. How about we go to Ireland for our 40th anniversary next August. I know our anniversary is in June but there's a race in Dublin in August.
-- Yes, but honey Ö but honey Ö Look I never ask you to got to my races. You can stay in the hotel, or go shopping while I run.
18) Oh. You want to go to Scotland too? Letís see if anyone is running while we are there. Oh Look! This little island off the coast has a half.
-- I know thereís no hotel on the Island. You can stay in the town where the ferry pocks while I go live in a tent on a windswept rock in the Atlantic Ocean for three days of our vacation. Itíll be an adventure.
19) I can't go on vacation that week because I have a race that weekend.
-- Look, i just paid $75 for that race. Going to the beach that weekend would be a waste.
20) I'm only running the half this weekend.
- Because I ran a full last weekend.
21) Hmmm. Kenyans.
-- OK. Kenyans also means Ethiopians, Ghanans, Moroccans, pretty much anyone from Africa who is leading the race by a half mile.
22) Why don't we just tack a long cool down on to make it an even 20 on the day?
-- Who wants to admit to running only 19.5 miles. Even numbers are best. Until race day. Then itís 13.1 or 26.2.
23) Ugh, my Garmin still doesnít have a signal.
-- If you see someone walking around in running gear looking at their watch, then at the sky then at their watch, they are waiting for a satellite. To track their run. Doesnít everyone do that?
24) Saturday: (before 5k) Well, I'm running a half marathon tomorrow, so I don't know how I'll do.
Sunday: Well, I ran a 5k yesterday pretty much all out, so I don't know how I'll do.
-- Then you PR both.
25) It looked like a PR, but I think the course was short.
-- I have a 23:52 PR for the 5k but I have never come close to that since. I think the course was short by as much as a quarter mile. But PR is a PR so I should take it? But I paid for 3.1 miles not 2.76 miles. I was cheated.