I'm back to writing my blog early morning rather than late evening, as was the case yesterday. At least this way I have a record of all I intend to do today, and knowing I am going to have to admit to not doing all I had planned for my day may just serve as motivation to tick every item off the list.
Again this morning I woke with the dreaded realization that it was weigh in day for me, something that until last Monday morning, was a great reason to get up out of bed, to see just how I'd done weight-wise. I've been exercising more these past two weeks, have been sticking within recommended nutritional guidelines, and am slowly coming closer to meeting all the listed amounts. Not perfect, but slowly getting there.
So why was I again doubting myself? Why was I doubting myself yesterday each time I remembered it was the day before weigh in? It left me feeling really unmotivated and down yesterday, and that's the way I woke up this morning again. Once again when I stood on my scales and saw another 2 pound loss I had the need to check two or three more times before I could believe they were accurate, and, like last week, I was convinced that maybe I'd made a mistake calculating my weight in pounds.
As I wrote the above paragraph, the realization came to me that it is because I have never had any continual success with trying to lose weight. I'd struggle to eat either next to nothing each day, or a severely restricted group of foods day after day, convinved that THIS time I could do it. I never ever managed to. Sure, the weight may drop substantially for the first week or two, maybe even three, but from then on, it either seemed to plateau or I'd find I'd gained. That was when I gave up and went on a huge, supposedly self-consoling junk food binge.
I think my self -doubts are creeping in because the whole Spark People program is designed in such a way as to teach us how to be able to eat virtually whatever we want, so long as it is within healthy limits. It also teaches us that if we do happen to want to eat something that would ordinarily blow our calorie count out of the water, we can up our exercise before hand, and maybe even the next few days till we have accounted for those extra high figures on our nutritional chart.
The ease to which I've adapted to this program has been remarkable, and I have never once felt restricted as regards what I can and can't eat. Exercise was a dirty word to me, always has been, but now I really enjoy getting out walking my dogs, to the point where I have arranged to walk two friends' dogs several times each week simply because my mobility has increased beyond my wildest dreams, and the only pain meds I now take, and then only when absolutely necessary (usually if I'm unable to sleep for the pain), are one or maybe two Panadol Osteo. If my hips, knees, ankles or feet start hurting, I just put on my shoes and go for a short walk, which seems to do a far better job of ridding my body of the pain.