Sunday, March 02, 2014
Sometimes we wake up and it know it's going to be a tough emotional day. Today is one of them.
Minutes after I wake up, my boyfriend asked if I watched the Biggest Loser. Than started in talking about how fat people are on there. Than, for the next twenty minutes, he talked about fat and skinny people. All I heard is fat - fat - fat and each time my anxiety went up - up - up. Because I kept internalizing I am fat. Whether I am or not is NOT the point.
As I am all down about this, I log onto Facebook and learn that one of my friends has Hodgkins Lymphoma. The doctors has confirmed he is in Stage 2 but suspect he is in Stage 3. There are only 4 stages. For some reason, this really hitting me harder today.
Like who am I to be down about have some extra weight. It doesn't matter. I am healthy. I can run. I try to eat fruits and veggies. I do not have cancer. As far as I know there WILL be another day.
In other news, I have been made some progress. I lifted weights four times this week and lost two pounds. I am supposed to run today but feeling emotionally weighed now. I just want to stay in bed and be hugged. I don't want to deal with these emotions of running, gaining weight or knowing about my friend's cancer. I know my emotions are minimal compared to what he is feeling.
I needed to talk to someone that understands this battle with their weight... and all this other jazz.