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    THECRAZYMANGO   31,580
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An Emotional Day

Sunday, March 02, 2014

Sometimes we wake up and it know it's going to be a tough emotional day. Today is one of them.

Minutes after I wake up, my boyfriend asked if I watched the Biggest Loser. Than started in talking about how fat people are on there. Than, for the next twenty minutes, he talked about fat and skinny people. All I heard is fat - fat - fat and each time my anxiety went up - up - up. Because I kept internalizing I am fat. Whether I am or not is NOT the point.

As I am all down about this, I log onto Facebook and learn that one of my friends has Hodgkins Lymphoma. The doctors has confirmed he is in Stage 2 but suspect he is in Stage 3. There are only 4 stages. For some reason, this really hitting me harder today.

Like who am I to be down about have some extra weight. It doesn't matter. I am healthy. I can run. I try to eat fruits and veggies. I do not have cancer. As far as I know there WILL be another day.

In other news, I have been made some progress. I lifted weights four times this week and lost two pounds. I am supposed to run today but feeling emotionally weighed now. I just want to stay in bed and be hugged. I don't want to deal with these emotions of running, gaining weight or knowing about my friend's cancer. I know my emotions are minimal compared to what he is feeling.

I needed to talk to someone that understands this battle with their weight... and all this other jazz.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NEWJEANSDAY 3/6/2014 9:37AM

    Sorry about your friend...

I want to say "isn't running supposed to lift your mood?" but I'm a walker and I know if I'm glum I don't want to walk!...

Love your tulips background

Hope you feel better by now.

emoticon

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CRYSALLIS1 3/3/2014 4:24AM

    So sorry about your day. Your boyfriend probably doesn't see you as overweight or ever being overweight. He probably feels you are strong & healthy. They just don't get it sometimes. My husband use to not get it either until one day he was overweight. He has dumb ideas sometimes how to loose weight. I tell him to go ahead. We will see who gets there first.
Example: 2 hamburgers etc are ok. Chocolate is never ok. Walking is a waste of time. You must run. Or he will follow my Eat To Live plan but add a bunch of stuff like bread, dressing, sausage. Whatever, sometimes they don't get it. Nor do they usually mean harm.
So sorry about your friend. Prayers. There are amazing treatments. But you have every right to feel bad for your friend.
I hope you gave yourself permission to not feel guilty that you weren't 100% on your game yesterday.

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DOGLADY13 3/2/2014 8:39PM

    Sometimes when I feel like you do toady, I force myself outside. Outside physically as well as getting outside my own head. More often than not, my mood improves. Doesn't mean it's great, just that it is better than before. Usually because I'm not fretting any more. I like to fret and brood and ruminate.

I am sorry that your friend is so ill. That is scary.

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PEZMOM1 3/2/2014 7:47PM

    emoticon

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1CRAZYDOG 3/2/2014 6:08PM

    (((((HUGS)))) So sorry to hear about your friend. My little sis has lymphoma (not Hodgkins Lymphoma, though). It is a struggle. Many prayers.
As for the comments about fat, I'm afraid I would have been pretty offended by that (you know me . . . I speak my mind). You have every right to have that type of comment upset you. 'Nuff said on that one I guess.

Hang in there. You are a strong woman. Definitely do what was advised, and that is take it a day-at-a-time, or an hour-at-a-time if you have to.



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NATPLUMMER 3/2/2014 6:07PM

    emoticon

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RUNNING-LIFE 3/2/2014 6:01PM

    I'm sorry to hear about your day and especially the part about your friend; I've been there. Only difference is I was stage 4....Take it one day at a time (I know that sometimes a day is too much; then I took it an hour at a time) Hour by hour. Keep your chin up, there is hope. emoticon I will keep you in my prayers.

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