Saturday, March 01, 2014
Today I went for a morning walk/run/jog. I was nearing my third mile when the wind started to pick up---it pushed against me, making every step that much more difficult. It was cold and the more I fought against it, the more I lost the motivation to continue. As it started to overpower me and make each step that more difficult, I realized, that people, events and circumstances in life, can either make it difficult or easier for you to succeed. After that, I felt a sense of empowerment and kept running. I told myself, that at some point in our lives, we are all running against the wind. But, we are the ones who can make the decision to keep going regardless of the struggle. As I ran, and pushed, I was fighting back against the people who had called me fat, big, ugly, told me to "step on the scale"---all the people with mean enough hearts to say something cruel. But, in the end, looking back, I am the one who let it affect me, by believing what they said was true. By believing because I was fat, I was a "bad person" or someone who was "less than". I rarely told anyone I was made fun of because I felt ashamed. I felt embarrassed to be made fun of and by telling someone else it would bring up the emotions again and maybe they would start to see me in the same light too, as someone that was "less than". Now, I know that if someone else belittles you, in any way, it doesn't make what they are saying true. That is just there opinion. YOU define yourself.