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    PRINCESS_SOFI   12,350
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Friday, February 28, 2014

Well, my therapist believes I may be on the verge of a mental breakdown. I explained in detail of what I feel daily and the struggles I face and she said I need to immediately take action. Last week I was so stressed that I had to sedate myself every day just to make it through. I've also developed habitual night sweats. It's getting worse.

Sometimes I can't tell reality from fiction. The other day I almost ran into someone while I was lost in thought. I forgot I was driving. I can literally barely function.

I'm so scared that what I face is a full breakdown. But I can see it being reality. My therapist said I needed a vacation.. like now.

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
NIMIRRA137 3/3/2014 1:13PM

    I am SOO glad you're finally in therapy! I know we don't really know each other well but I've been worrying about you for a while. As someone who has been down a dark road and has been depressed and pretty much have had a breakdown I know how scary and alone it can feel.

I agree with your therapist that you definitely do need a vacation. Is there anyway you can do another Florida trip but not just for the weekend? Do you have vacation time to use for work or even sick time?

It sounds like you need some "mental health" days as my mother would call them.

Just know that you have a lot of Spark friends that care about you and worry about you. As hard as it is to believe, things will get better. It takes a lot of time and hard work.

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FERRETGIRL28 3/1/2014 11:49AM

    I've been there. It can be so hard to focus or concentrate on anything- like driving- when you are feeling bad. Too many other things floating around in your head & you just kind of zone out.

Maybe you should think about consulting with a doctor about medication. Even if you decide not to take anything right now, at least you will know your options and possible treatments. It's just a proactive step you can take. I agree with the time off suggestion...some time to de-stress and relax & figure out what you need to do for yourself right now is really important. Then you can come up with a game plan or course of action to get you better.

I really feel for you going through this because I have been there too. It can be a very lonely experience because you start to feel like no one could understand what you're going through. Know that you aren't alone and there are people you can reach out to, myself included. Keep sharing your feelings with your therapist, your blog, your friends, it will help you get through this tough time.


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PATTYKLAVER 3/1/2014 8:15AM

    Intervention time! Take at least one day off. Do something - ANYTHING- just for you. Write down your feelings. If it makes you feel better, tear up the paper when you are done. Is there anyone with or near you to keep an eye on you? emoticon

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KELLIEBEAN 3/1/2014 7:11AM

    Please do take action immediately. You deserve to take care of yourself. Is inpatient or outpatient therapy a possibility? It sounds like you need more than a vacation!

Please take care of yourself!

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KNLILLA 3/1/2014 12:15AM

    Oh gosh I'm so really really sorry to hear that... :(

I have been there, of course everyone's path is different, but I do remember almost crashing my car the same way you described too, and many other things sounded so very familiar... This was about two years ago, and thanks mostly to a therapist, I got through it.

I remember going to see her, and the first few times I expected to feel so much better, to be relieved, but nothing has changed in the first month, but after that everything started working out. And it wasn't magic, I actually went for a year and a half and if i hadn't moved to an other country I would've kept on going, so it's a really long process, but totally worth it. I haven't had any dark-dark thoughts since the second month, and it kept getting better and better with every passing month, and now I'm a totally different person.

The other things that have also helped along the way were: [of course we're all different so it might not help everyone]
- talking to people, not necessarily about myself (that too sometimes), but just talking...about the world, about other people, having long conversations, just talking, connecting
- watching funny movies and TV shows (of course this one doesn't help as much as a therapist but laughing heals too)
- reading funny books
- reading self-help books (there's a lot of crap out there, but there are so many amazing books too, there's something inspiring and uplifting for every taste)
- having FUN, trying out NEW things, collecting nice memories and experiences
- yoga
- spirituality (for me, simply reading about how meditation can affect you positively affected me positively. No I don't meditate, but I did read books on different spiritual subjects and - without starting to follow this movement or that religion - it helped!)

This is all I can think of now, but most of all what I wanted to say is that if you want you should write me a private e-mail, I really would love to talk!! I really do mean it!!!

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