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Accomplish blog and jokes for wenesday

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Accomplish blog and jokes for wenesday
My affirmation for the day:
1. Today is the first day of rest of my life and I will take notice of the many positive things this day has to offer
.2.. My life has a purpose.
3.I am moving in a positive direction towards my goals.
I am today grateful for
1. l my new Counselor
:2 my family
3. my job
4 for a good read
Positive events of today:
1 morning— Today I am thankful for a nice breakfast with friends and family
2 afternoon Today I am happy that I made some decision on my own at work
3 I Had a good workout with church friends
The Plain English Campaign is a group that has been fighting for crystal-clear communication since 1979. Consider some of these examples Take off lid and push up bottom. [From a stick deodorant label]
 These guidelines are written in a matter-of-fact style that eschews jargon, the obscure and the insular. They are intended for use by the novice and the experienced alike. [From the United Kingdom Evaluation Society 'Guidelines for good practice in evaluation']
 Thought grenade [Management jargon as found in Office Angels survey - means 'explosive, good ideas']
 This is a genuine ground floor opportunity to shape a front line field force operating in a matrix structure. [As stated on the 'Take a Fresh Look at Wales' website]
 The delay to this service is due to low adhesive conditions. [Otherwise known as 'slippery tracks', from First Scotrail]
 The cause of the fire was due to a malicious ignition incident that was fortunately contained to the function and meeting room area of the hotel. [News statement about a fire at a hotel]
 Its clear lines and minimalist design provide it with an unmistakable look. It is daring, and different. So that your writing instrument not only carries your message, but lives it. [Promotional literature for ... pens]
 Where the policy is divided into a number of distinct arrangements ('Arrangements') where benefits are capable of being taken from on Arrangement or group of Arrangements separately from other

 Arrangements, then this policy amendment will not apply to any
 Arrangements in respect of which the relevant policy proceeds have already been applied to provide benefits. The policy amendment will apply to all other Arrangements under the policy. [Policy amendment, Norwich Union]

Funny Did-You-Know Facts?
 More people are killed annually by donkeys than die in air crashes.
 Every citizen of Kentucky is required by law to take a bath once a year.
 No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver and purple.
 The United States has never lost a war in which mules were used.
 The only two nations whose name begins with an "A," but doesn't end in an "A," are Afghanistan and Azerbaijan.
 A 'jiffy' is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.
 Duelling is legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are registered blood donors.
Every dog in my house is required by law to take a bath once a year Simple Question: Why?
 Why are boxing rings square?
 Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
 WHY does a round pizza come in a square box?
 Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up, like, every two hours?
 Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough?
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

OOLALA53 3/1/2014 7:08PM

    Cute! And welcome to Living Binge Free, where we get off diets and get on to feeding ourselves reasonably and adequately in all situations. Doable!

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2WHEELEDSHARON 2/28/2014 10:08PM

    Hey I'm glad to see some things going well. Thanks for the giggles:)

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STEPBYSTEP1955 2/28/2014 1:20PM

    emoticon very funny but oh so true!

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SHERYLP461 2/27/2014 8:21AM

    LOL, great ones. I say send some mules to Afganistan

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CASTIRONLADY 2/26/2014 10:24PM

    Good laughs! Keep up the good work.

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