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    BOBCATGIRL76   40,210
40,000-49,999 SparkPoints

Day 817- Learning to Reset My Mind

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Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Last night, I went and visited with some of my mom's friends. They are great women and are always a great time. When I walked in, they both said "Look at you skinny mini!" And ranted about how great I looked.

Now, I've never really been one for compliments. Back when I was 275 pounds, it was because my self-esteem was so low and my self-image so negative that I thought they were saying whatever they were saying to try and make me feel better. That I couldn't possibly deserve their praise.

And even now, I still have a hard time accepting these compliments. My mother's friends both thought I was at goal weight and were shocked when I said I was around 185 currently, the same weight I've been for almost a year and a half. And they were simply shocked, thinking I was much lower than that and couldn't believe I still want to lose 40 more pounds.

And I've written so many blogs about this situation, but I just don't know when it will finally click for me that I'm no longer that 275 pound girl that I once was. I see her every now and again when I have a minor pig out. But the fact that I start the next day anew with a new effort to stay on track and exercise should prove to me that I've changed so much since then. I need to believe that I'm worthy of these comments and compliments.

I've never really thought I was a beautiful girl, and that's probably because I grew up in the 90's and 2000s and we all know the media has completely changed and defined beauty in an unrealistic way. This isn't meant to be a "woe is me" blog that leads to a bunch of comments telling me how pretty I am, so please know that is unnecessary. I've just never really been satisfied with how I look and maybe that is just the plight of the woman these days. Maybe we will never be satisfied no matter what size, shape, weight, hair color, etc. just because we are trying to achieve an unachievable perfection.

Maybe I need to find a self-help book. Or talk to a counselor about how to reset my mind and the way I think about myself. I've already started to value myself more. I would have never dedicated myself to this journey of health if I didn't realize I was worth it. But I just need more positivity and happiness with who I am right now, and less worry about who I'm still trying to be.

But when I opened my email this morning, I found my professional headshot that was taken for my new job. And a huge smile came across my face, because I just thought I looked great. No asterisks or disclaimers, I took an awesome picture and like how I look. I've grown to appreciate my chubby cheeks and dimples as just part of being me. And I'm so thankful to be able to take normal pictures and be pleased with the results.

Keep smiling Sparkfriends!

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
INCH_BY_INCH 5/30/2014 3:01PM

  That's for the insightful blog. Although I got a few years on you. This is huge and I struggle with it daily. I remember my great aunt saying you should never tell someone if they are pretty, or handsome because it would give them a big head. So in her generation I guess no self esteem was considered best????'s to all the retraining of our minds and healthful outcomes. emoticon

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GRAMPIAN 5/25/2014 5:16AM

  Great! emoticon

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EFFRAYECHILDE 3/24/2014 10:59AM


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DOLPHINLADY05 3/6/2014 12:27PM

    Thanks for sharing this blog. I think there are many women and men that feel the same way about themselves and it just takes time to reset your mind. I use LOTS of positive self talk and sometimes that really does seem to help. I love the pic you shared... you are a beautiful young lady with a very sweet smile!!

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SUSIEMT 3/5/2014 6:47PM

    I love that picture! You look so totally happy!

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MRSRIGS1 3/5/2014 4:09PM

    Beautiful photo! emoticon

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OZARKMARY 3/5/2014 11:38AM

    Awesome blog! No matter what our age, some of us still doubt ourselves in many ways. Thanks for sharing your in site. And about your dimples...WE got them when God made us and pinched our cheeks and said, "You're cute!" emoticon

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KGWINDER 3/3/2014 10:18PM

    Because we see the bravery behind the smile, the hours of eating good healthy food behind the shiny fully hair, the exercise that has increased blood flow to the sparkling eyes, the healthy oils that have given your cheeky their smooth skin, we can agree you're beautiful - mind, body - inside and out. Believe it!

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THRIFTEE1 3/3/2014 5:55PM

    I love dimples they are the cutest! I'm glad you are now comfortable in your own skin, something I'm learning to do. emoticon

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SIMONEKP 3/3/2014 1:59PM

    great smile, keep working on that body image

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MLLEMINOU 3/3/2014 8:56AM

    emoticon Beautiful picture!! You look amazing!! emoticon emoticon

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SUPERDAD55 3/2/2014 10:43PM

    What an emoticon Photo.
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CLARISSABOND 3/2/2014 4:43AM

    Dahling you look mahvelous! Your new-found confidence shines through in that smile.

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MOGAL64 3/1/2014 8:09PM

    Great photo. You're doing great!!

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FRABBIT 3/1/2014 6:07PM

  What a beautiful picture!

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JUNEAU2010 3/1/2014 1:04PM

    You wear that smile beautifully! Thanks for sharing your deep thoughts. They echo some of mine and I relate.

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EBONYSOL 3/1/2014 1:42AM

    Love the photo! You have a great smile.

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RENATA144 3/1/2014 12:01AM

  You ate emoticon !!! You are a Tremendous Inspiration. !!! emoticon emoticon

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MARYJEANSL 2/28/2014 11:47PM

  That is a wonderful picture!

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PJB149 2/28/2014 10:16PM

    Great, insightful blog, I know exactly what you mean. I just wrote on a similar topic on my blogs a matter of fact. What a gift it would be to see ourselves through the eyes of those who love us.

Thank you for sharing.

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NEED2LOSEN2010 2/28/2014 9:39PM

    Beautiful! emoticon


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MAMA_CD 2/28/2014 9:12PM

    You truly are beautiful! Perhaps some of the articles on self esteem would be helpful. It's exciting when you get all of those compliments for weight loss, as you continue, they'll pressure you and say, "that's enough, you're too thin" don't listen if you are in a normal BMI. Eventually both them and you will get used to the new you and no one will believe you were ever at that high weight. Remember, you truly are beautiful! emoticon

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JOANNHUNT 2/28/2014 8:30PM


emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LEKESHIA35 2/28/2014 7:16PM

  i can relate to what yiou were saying your blogg reallly inspired me thank you for sharing.

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XENA1956 2/28/2014 6:31PM

    Your are so beautiful and have done a fantastic job. Sometime the scale doesn't tell the whole story. Keep on working and you will get where you want to be. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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HYATTI1 2/28/2014 6:24PM

    You're awesome

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SUPERSYLPH 2/28/2014 6:24PM

    emoticon Nice picture!

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DARBYGAL 2/28/2014 4:59PM

    Thank you for being so open, it's like you were expressing exactly how I feel.

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ROXYCARIN 2/28/2014 4:15PM


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GRAMPIAN 2/28/2014 4:00PM

  You look great! emoticon

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DCWILLIAMS831 2/28/2014 3:46PM

    That picture served as you "ah ha" moment. Thank you for sharing!

emoticon emoticon

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SNOOGIEGAL 2/28/2014 3:37PM

    Love it! The goal = "no asterisks or disclaimers"!

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FUSIONFITNESS3 2/28/2014 3:19PM

    I absolutely understand what you are writing about because I live it too. emoticon

Keep on smiling. emoticon smile!!!

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KIMPARKER3 2/28/2014 3:05PM

    You are awesome!

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MYALISA 2/28/2014 2:54PM

    Dear Bobcatgirl76, you have my sincerest admiration. You should be so proud of yourself for the journey you have traveled. There is nothing wrong with being humble but also realize you have worked so hard and if not for self-love at this moment accept the compliments for what you have accomplished the rest will follow! From your picture it is true you are very beautiful on the outside, from your writing you are also very beautiful on the inside! You are an inspiration!!!

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JUNE1435 2/28/2014 2:49PM

    Great blog. Thank you so much for sharing. It is very instructive for me to read about people in various stages of this journey we are all on. I appreciate your positive but realistic attitude!

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RUNNERRACHEL 2/28/2014 2:01PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon LOVE IT~!

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STEPHANIS_07 2/28/2014 1:41PM

    Great blog! I can totally relate. The first time I lost weight, I didn't feel as though I had lost that much, and found it hard to accept compliments. I grew up in the same era as you, and still find it hard to accept compliments. You are not alone! Congratulations on losing all that weight, and good luck for the next 40 pounds!

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FABISERVANTES83 2/28/2014 1:11PM

    emoticon Your look great!

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PACKERMANN 2/28/2014 11:40AM

    gorgeous sweater color choice for your features!

you'll get have a lot going on right now.

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CARDAMOMMA 2/28/2014 10:41AM

    So enjoy reading your blogs. Thanks for sharing!

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LMHUBER0812 2/28/2014 9:47AM

  Keep on keeping on! You're not alone in the "trying to stay positive" boat. I'm there too. I think one thing that could help reset your mind is to tell yourself, "I am beautiful" everyday or every time you look in the mirror. It helps me...I think the first thing a lot of people think when they look in the mirror is criticism of the shape and size of certain problem areas rather than first thinking "I am beautiful" and then maybe revamping goals or setting new ones to work out the problem areas or whatever. So I think starting the day with a positive is going to set you up for a reset mind and perspective on how you look.

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IN102WIN 2/28/2014 9:39AM

    Thanks for sharing and no you are not "fishing" for a compliment but you still deserve one... That's a beautiful picture!

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GORDON66 2/28/2014 9:33AM

  What a cutie you are!!!

I can relate to just about everything you've kindly shared with us. I'm a heck of a lot older than you are, and I'm glad you're regaining your health at a much younger age. Good for you!

Comment edited on: 2/28/2014 9:34:36 AM

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BLUEJEAN99 2/28/2014 9:32AM

    love your smile emoticon

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KEELIE21 2/28/2014 8:51AM

    Great blog!! I think these feelings are pretty universal, at least for women. We are constantly looking around at the beautiful things in everyone else. I'll share my favorite quote "Comparison is the thief of joy"
Also I just want to say no matter what you look like (which IS beautiful by the way) you are an inspiration. I started out at 275 as well and I'm only 12 lbs down but I look at you and I know that I can do this. THAT is beauty.

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RUBYSNANA 2/28/2014 8:05AM

    You are lovely………but, it is hard to adjust our thinking when we change our bodies. It takes time. I am a firm believer that talking to a counselor can be helpful if you feel the need.
emoticon You are emoticon

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PENOWOK 2/28/2014 7:01AM

    I know you are hearing this from everyone, but we all have difficulty with the concept of not being that heavier person. For some, that gets in the way of continued success...causes sabotage. You, though, are a mile ahead of that!! You look amazing and have terrific motivation to keep on going! Don't let anyone or anything derail you!! Imagine what you will look like when you hit goal and go for it!!

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ROUNDTOWNMOM 2/28/2014 6:52AM

    What you are going through is terribly normal........and is also part of the reason that so many people seem to not be able to "maintain" once they get to where they want to be weight-wise. They still "see" the person they were instead of the *whole* person they've become. That is so very true for me, anyway. Resetting our mind's image of what we are is the hardest single thing we do on this adventure!!

BTW - you ARE beautiful and I *do* love that headshot!!! emoticon

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