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    GRACIEGOES   8,939
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One of those days

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Caution: Rant ahead

So there was a pretty icky slip. You know those days when you eat one bad thing and you just decide to just not care about what you put in your mouth for the rest of the day? That happened. It was just one day. I know I can fix it. Just hope that there aren't too many more of them.

Also finding myself becoming more frustrated with the step mom situation. I imagine it's hard enough being a mom. But it adds a little extra every time that little mouth opens to say, "Well, we don't have to take our shoes off at mom's house," or "I don't have to eat vegetables at my mom's house." Later finding out the kid was not given breakfast because he wanted eggs and wasn't given them or fed french fries and jello for dinner does not help things along. Also apparently not enforcing brushing teeth before bed time over there because, "I only brush once at mom's house." So every day, he gets a firm, "This is your dad's house."

I feel like there's a lot of undoing of habits and manners we try to enforce. I was chatting with my mom about how long it usually takes for those things to stick. She said they would but with constant repetition. Something tells me pleases and thank yous are only done half of the week. Ugh.

Talk to the mom, you say? How to put this lightly... She most likely hates my guts. It was a bad breakup because she cheated on my husband (her then boyfriend) and was trying to get back together with him up until she got married (to another man whose baby she was carrying) even though he and I were already dating. Yeah, told you it was a rant ahead. Also, I once tried to talk to her about a hole in his snow boots. He'd complained his feet get wet in them a couple times so I brought it up with her. "Oh, his feet just sweat a lot." Then later talks to my husband to blame him for the hole in the boots even though they looked chewed up by dogs (which we don't have). I'm going to stop there before this turns into a session of tearing her apart.

Sigh.

Apologies for the rant. It's just frustrating.

My husband has been good about it. He keeps firm with what we lay out for his son so there's continuity. My mom says to just keep on doing exactly that.

Blah. I'm trying to do my best. Don't get me wrong, I understand he's a kid. I guess my concerns are aimed toward the whole situation with "the other house".

Rant over, I guess. Each day is a new day. Just have to keep trucking on.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SETTIMIA 3/11/2014 2:44PM

    Hiya just checking to hear how you are doing?

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SETTIMIA 2/27/2014 1:40AM

    HI there, don't be so hard on your self, this is a journey and sometimes we will get off track but then remember that each day a is a new day and a new beginning. Focus and believe you can do it, I believe in you

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SPICEMWE 2/25/2014 12:52PM

    Sorry to hear. It sounds like you're doing the right thing though. You're mom is right on this one, I think. Stick with the program and he'll eventually get it. Maybe offer an incentive to form these healthy and polite habits? I'm not sure of the age or what would be a proper incentive, but I'm sure you could work on that with your husband. Who knows, maybe the tables could turn and the dear son could be telling Mom how it works at Dad's house.

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Stay firm and focus on what you can change and affect.

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DRPEPPIE121 2/25/2014 11:53AM

    I'm sorry to hear that things are rough for you in the step-parenting world! I have a friend who is dealing with that as well. She married a guy with three children, and the ex-wife is a lesbian living with her "girlfriend". Very tricky situation...

I think you're doing the right thing! I don't think that YOU should ever have to communicate specifically about problems to the ex. That's your hubby's job. I suppose things will get better, though I don't know really specific advice I could give you....

BUT...

I could give you a website that has helpful articles on there for stuff like this. http://www.smartstepfamilies.com/vi
ew/learn

(here's a specific one: http://www.smartstepfamilies.com/vi
ew/dealing-with-a-difficult-ex-
spouse )

Check it out! Hope it helps!!!

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Comment edited on: 2/25/2014 11:55:32 AM

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