Monday, February 24, 2014
Wow. I cannot believe it's been so long since I've posted here.
I have fallen and gotten back up so many times it's not even funny. The good news is that since the 16th, I have consistently tracked all my food, and have made more of an effort to exercise. I actually bought a PolarFt4 to track my heart rate and calories burned. I love that it's more accurate because many of the machines and things over estimate, or way underestimate how many calories are burned during each workout. I feel that I am more motivated to exercise to see how many calories I can burn per workout session.
Today was the start of week 8 at school. I also had a chance to sign up for my classes for Spring term-my last term! It's going to be a lot of work, but I am confident that I'll be able to get it all done. I've been doing research for my project regarding organic farming. Since I started this term, I've actually been eating more organic foods (not 100%, but definitely looking more at labels than I was before). What I have found the most interesting is the fact that organic producers and distributors have to go through all this paperwork in order to have their certification, and to maintain it, while all of these other conventional producers don't have to fill out anything! I visited an organic dairy farm last Friday, and that was very interesting. I also had a chance to interview a woman from Oregon Tilth, which is a third party certifying agency. They make sure that farmers are "following the rules" so to speak.
I will definitely be making more of an effort to eat organic myself.
I haven't been spending much time at home lately. There's nothing to do there except watch television. Seriously, the room that Adam and I sleep in is the tv room. There is literally NO ROOM for us. We have no space to call our own. My mom likes to stay up very late (watching TV) and if I want to go to bed, I have to ask her. She of course always complies, but sometimes she gets very upset about it, and I'm not sure why. I hope she understands that I am a student, and with that, I have to go to bed early sometimes. I want to stay up with her one time just to see how late she'll actually stay up before going to bed on her own. It makes me sad how inactive she is especially because she has pain in her knees.
On a following note, I didn't realize how important being intimate was to my mental/emotional health until I started living at my parents' house. It might be TMI, but that's really important to me! I knew what this was when we moved back in, and ultimately, I suppose we could have found a cheaper place to rent, but financially, we would have been screwed.
It's hard to work and go to school full time, especially when I'm required to do a research project. I guess soon enough, we'll have the financial means to move out again. I really will make sure that this is the LAST time we live with them. In fact, when we do move out, my two brothers want to rent a house with us somewhere. That would be cool, and I know that they would both be good room mates.
Don't get me wrong, I don't hate my parents at all, and I am definitely grateful to have a roof over my head. Some parents aren't so forgiving. I guess going back after being on my own for so long is just so difficult, and depressing. I just have to take it one day at a time, and remain strong and optimistic. I think that's the most frustrating part-I'm SO close to being done. I'm literally already applying for work, so I can be interview ready near my graduation date. It would be SO awesome to graduate, take a week off, and then start a job somewhere in a state office building.
I just have to get through 15 more weeks of school, and then I'll have my BA. I can do this.
Happily I have support for my health goals. My youngest brother and I are going to go jogging tonight at the lake after we are done studying at the cafe (which is where I'm at presently). There's a nice well-lit path in a safe community, so that's what we're going to do. It will be nice to get the endorphins going too. I just feel like as long as I exercise consistently, I'll be in a more positive mood, even if the weight doesn't come off.
I finally FINALLY got healthcare again! I actually have a physical on Friday. I'm going to make sure everything is normal. I've been experiencing bouts of nausea, one particular case I almost got sick in the car after I had consumed black tea. I'm pretty sure other people have had similar experiences with black tea, but I assure you, my stomach wasn't empty when I drank it. I've been just overall drained, and tired these last few weeks, but like I said, it's probably partially explained by my 11:00 or better bedtimes combined with waking up around 6 the following morning.
I'm also going to look into getting counseling again. I feel that it will help me to better cope with my situation, and help me really get back on track to where I want to be.
In spite of everything, I do feel optimistic. Nothing is truly bleak.