Monday, February 24, 2014
So im watching horder, which always makes me feel great about my house, when i see this woman unable to get rid of a rock. Seems simple right? Its a rock. A ROCK. A simple plain rock. Her house is so full of stuff her daughter has been taken from her and is living with other family. I think her older sister. But this woman is so afraid to give up something as usless and replaceable as a simple rock she picked up off the street years ago and tossed in this mess of stuff. She says she wants her 15 year old little girl too come home and live with her again. But her inability to actualy make any changes is all sumed up with a rock.
So, as im watching this im wondering am i any diffrent? Iv been trying to figure out a way to lose weight since the age of 12. I have the most wonderful son now who is so active and strong. I never want him to ever have to deal with weight issues, ever. But im stoped in my trackes not by a rock, but my inabiltiy to even say no too a cookie. My son will watch what i do, not listen to what i say. I am risking his health because i cant have the self disaplin to say no to the cookie. (Its way more than a cookie but its suposed to stand for all the fast food and just junk i cant say no too)
Im sitting here and iv relized for the first time how selfish im being. Yes i was raised on junk. Taught to drink pop not water. And my mother used to buy me diet pills and we would try every new fad diet together. But luke dosnet have to go thru that. Im the mom now. I know way more about nutrtion than my mom ever did. I cound tell you the calories in almost everything. There is no more excuses anymore. I no longer get to think just about myself, i have lukes whole future in my hands. Its time to let go of the rock.