Monday, February 24, 2014
Yeah, this is gonna be kind of a negative entry. Fair warning.
This weekend was rough. Ben and I argued over the stupidest little things, and I keep trying to ask myself, "Is this the hill I want to die on?", as my friend Katie says. (She has a 6 year old too. We were pregnant together. It's one of those bonds that seems to stay strong even if we haven't talked in months.) Unfortunately, it seems like I only remember about picking my hill, as it were, after the fact.
It doesn't help that lately I've had a very short fuse, both temper and frustration. And Ben manages to hit almost every button I have, plus he has a low frustration threshold... I think we're just too much alike. And Mar, who is a buffer, isn't around... he doesn't get a day off this week, so Ben and I are going on 5 days of just us, and have at least another week of the same thing. I wish I could figure out why I'm so angry all the time. I swear, some days I feel like the Hulk. Or She-Hulk, I guess. Whatever.
Plus this week, our friends have to get out of their house. Her mother died, and the bank isn't even acknowledging her because her name isn't on the mortgage, so... oh, you lost your mother? And now your house? Too bad! Pack up everything you own and get out! (I am not fond of banks.) So I'm going over there as soon as I finish this entry to watch their 4 year old so she can pack (her husband is working but will be helping pack when he's done with work).
I wouldn't be so reluctant, but this weekend was awful. J had an emergency and we rushed over there, getting a ticket on the way, and then I watched their little guy, who was NOT going to sleep, thank you very much, not while he was sick AND Mommy and Daddy were not there. So not much sleep there, then the next night Ben decided to come in and sleep with me. He is not a calm sleeper... well, neither am I. But yeah, not much sleep, not good sleep, and I was grumpy before that. Not a great combination. Then this morning, Ben didn't want to go to school, then he snuck downstairs and stole beef jerky and chocolate and hid them under his pillow. We do not starve this kid, but he acts like we do, and I am completely lost on why and how to fix it.
So, yeah. I'm just... done. Too bad the week isn't.