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    HEIDISHOPE   69,648
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Where is the determination and will power?

Monday, February 24, 2014

I sure needed this article.....

My emotions are going all over the place lately. Winter blahs, grief, hormones, and weight gain have all taken a toll on me this winter.

I lose 1 lbs, gain 1 lbs, lose 1, gain 2, repeat. For months now, meaning a very slow weight gain and I don't like how I look and feel once again.

I try to stay positive---looking at all the weight I have kept off - nearly 50! And all the health progress I've made---(see a previous blog).

I am exercising like I haven't been able to do in over 15 years!! And yet.....
I am making much better, healthier food choices than EVER! And yet.....

Some days I feel like giving is so hard to eat healthy in this house. Desserts, chips, ice cream, soda pop, Little Debbie cakes, pasta, pasta, pasta, chocolate, chocolate, chocolate, beef 4-5x week abound. I feel doomed to weigh 180lbs until the kids (age 22 and 17) leave home. If I don't buy it, they do. I do not enjoy cooking, so I refuse to cook 2 separate meals for every meal lunch and supper.

I try to change up my meals a bit so they are healthier choices.....baked potato with chili sauce instead of hotdog, bun, and chili sauce or salad with tuna mixed with avacado instead of the Kraft mac -n-cheese and tuna, salads, salads, and more salads while everyone else has potatoes, pasta, and bread but it doesn't seem to be enough to keep the weight from slowing coming back.

I had lost 65 lbs. I was at 162. I am now fighting to keep it at 180. ugh.

I've even joined a challenge team to see if competition and accountability would help. Sadly, for my wonderful teammates, NO. (so very sorry WRJ&G team mates!)

I am so much more tired.
I am more achy.
I am more sad.
I am more fat.

I just don't understand how to live my family's life and stay thinner.

Where did my determination and will power go?????????????

I did it before with the same foods in this house.

Where is that determination I had before?

I am a VERY strong-willed person....why am I not applying it to the foods I put in my mouth?

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
JYGETSFIT 2/25/2014 1:36AM

    Try not to be so hard on yourself, you are in a difficult situation. I like what any of the comments said but I agree with JOHNNMARTINMILES the most. Get as calm as you can be, imagine a blank canvas and then dream about/imagine what or who you want to be, be as detailed as you like. Once you are done, let it all go. Hand it over to a higher power if you believe in one. This is a great practice.

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MNABOY 2/24/2014 11:56PM

    For me November to March have been bad motivation to eat healthy times for the last 6 years. Seems my surgery month in December and rehab is in good form by March? Have to have surgeries when wife can help immediately after, she teaches out of town. two knees, back and renal have taken toll but over all I have made major advances with drift back during the Thanksgiving to March time. We will do better and try to be steadier?

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1CRAZYDOG 2/24/2014 9:07PM

    You've had stress, and that definitely affects the body, and life just doesn't stop coming @ you! So, just realize you're not alone.

Your kids are old enough that if they didn't like what I prepared, they could make themselves a PB&J or the like. But I too just simply don't have the time to make separate meals.


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NIKIZAHA 2/24/2014 1:52PM

    You are not doomed to anything!! emoticon

I know what your problem is. You THINK that you can't move on. And you are terribly scared as well.

It happened to me too. I stayed stuck at more or less the same weight for months. A few pounds up (after a few days of indulgence and binging) and then a few pounds down. And then again.

And then I realized that I didn't believe I could do better. And another thing. It's comfortable here. Not too fat any more. It's already amazing how I've changed.... it's kind of hard to try more.

Yes, I didn't want to pay the price. And the price is dearer now than it was at the beginning. The weight doesn't come off as easily as it used to. And I didn't want to "suffer".

So I asked myself if I was really pleased to stay where I was.

And I also asked myself if I really couldn't bear a little more "pain".

Yes, it feels good to be able to eat more. To be full. But the horror! The horror of the consequences! Have you forgotten?

And I decided. So get up and do it.

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NEWCHINELO 2/24/2014 12:41PM

    My dear just keep doing your best . . . we cant throw away our family,we put them in our plans,we must not give up but keep pushing emoticon

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SARAHTAIT 2/24/2014 12:12PM

    I am there with you...everything you said hit me as though it was me venting. So know you are not alone in your emotions.
Spring is coming and I know that will help you a lot. Getting outdoors has a restorative effect. Here in Georgia it is sunny and in the 60's today...and that has really made a difference for me. Hang in there....soon you will be enjoying warmer weather and feeling better....
I am here for you!

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SPARKLINGHOPE 2/24/2014 10:24AM

    emoticon I am doing the same thing... emoticon

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    Sometimes you have to put determination and will power aside and just relax, let go and visualize you success.

Make Today the Greatest Day of Your Life

emoticon Until Tomorrow!

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