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    KAYELLEBEE   12,032
10,000-14,999 SparkPoints
Thank you for the spark

Sunday, February 23, 2014

I've been biking, HIIT-ing, using the elliptical, hitting up the weight room... not much running to be done due to some tendonitis. I'm at the point where I just want to finish the April marathon by now. As long as I stay active, I know I can do it.

I came to a realization yesterday - the more I deprecate myself for eating a meal, the more I feel I need to eat because of some subconscious feeling of deprivation... it's complicated and interesting, and it makes me sad. I long for the day when I genuinely feel that a meal is deserved! Does anyone else struggle with this? More introspection and updates on this to follow, but this is where I'm at: sad, confused, and a bit angry. I'm trying hard to forgive myself... it's a journey, not a destination!

On a high note, I've been gardening a lot, and I made my own almond milk the other day. these kinds of things bring me peace, and I can't wait for more free time to do more fun DIY stuff :)

Fast forward 15 minutes: SparkPeople's done it again - after reading just 3 blog posts, I am more inspired and motivated than I've been in a week or so. I was so down yesterday and today, and those three blogs talked about just the take-home lessons I needed!

1) if not now, when? when will you make the choice to be your best self?
2) one small victory leads to another, and another... you've got this small battle! long-term success is guaranteed with repeated small victories.
3) I have no place getting down on my healthy, fit body when there are so many more people in the world who are fighting much more significant battles - and winning.

I'm feeling more empowered by your words, fellow sparkers, than any I could have said myself. so thank you! thank you so much for picking me up when I was down. I'll make it a point to look to your blogs in the future rather than trying futilely to talk myself out of a seemingly never-ending funk.
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EBWHAT 2/24/2014 9:40AM

    Thank you for sharing! I found your blog inspiring and I'm glad I read this. I also struggle with feeling satisfied. Either I eat until I'm full and then feel guilty for overeating, or I feel deprived. Often if I workout a bunch this catch 22 gets even worse, because I wont be able to tell exactly how many calories were burned and how much I actually need. With tracking it's a little easier but it's still a struggle!

Thanks for passing the spark along and emoticon

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CHICA_BORICUA 2/23/2014 7:35PM

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