Sunday, February 23, 2014
For the first time ever, I feel like I'm heading in the right direction. It's not like I'm seeing any huge successes this year. It's just a feeling, a change in attitude that says this journey will be different from the rest. I've been focusing and committing myself to small changes and not moving in my usual let's get through this ramp up quickly, then feel overwhelmed and discouraged because there is no progress with this approach. Instead I'm trying to master a few things and slowly ramp up. The real test this year was when I found out I was losing my job. This should have shook me off my plane and put everything in reverse, but instead, I'm holding my ground! I'm still loving myself, focusing on my self-care, and realizing that there will be ups and downs in life, everything won't be perfect, but I can keep myself moving forward regardless.
Sometimes when a storm comes, it's meant for a reason. I believe the storm hitting me right now is to prove to me that I'm stronger and more motivated than I had ever realized and that is something to celebrate because my daughter is seeing it and that is helping her self-esteem. She's loving herself just the way she is now. She's learning healthy habits. She's becoming my biggest cheerleader and I'm honored to be experiencing all this.
The biggest, most important change this year has been seeing how long it takes me to eat and working towards the 15 minute mark. I'm getting closer to that goal and I'm so excited. Why you may ask? Because it's so important to managing my reflux and weight loss. This morning was when I was really celebrating. I remember when I would have 3 4" or 2 6" pancakes and 2 light sausages for breakfast. I needed this to feel full. Today I had 2 4" pancakes and 2 sausages and I felt the same fullness. It's actually several hours later, and I'm still full! Now maybe a little of it is because I'm sick, but I think most of it is because it took me 15 minutes to eat my breakfast. This was a goal I wanted to achieve because when I had the 3 pancakes, my carb intake was too high and at 2, my cars are in range. Carbs are important to me because of my pre-diabetes.
Another exciting thing was today was my weigh in and because it's TOM, I was mentally prepared to see the scale go up, but it was surprisingly at the same weight I was last week. Once TOM is gone, I will take measurements to see if there is any off scale victories. I've also decided to hold off my next fitness test until after my cold is gone because I feel I will not see any strides in that area as it's been very difficult to do any exercise, but I'm very proud of myself because I'm still trying. For once in my life, I feel like I'm moving forward or standing still. I'm not back sliding at tragedy or set backs. I'm realizing it's not all or nothing. What matters is that I do my best and try and that in itself is enough to give myself a pat on the back for.