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    EOCROSSFITMOM   3,174
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Depression

Sunday, February 23, 2014

I have a feeling I'm going to be dealing with this again over the next while.
Yesterday I threw a baby shower for my daughter-in-law. I sent out around 50 invitations. Family (which is huge), Church Friends, and Friends from around town. Wanna guess how many showed up? I can tell you who it wasn't - Not a single family member. Not one single church friend. 14 cancellations 1 hour before the shower. 4 friends. That's it - 4.

It's the story of my life. A half dozen came to my bridal shower. Two came to my one and only baby shower. About ten to my wedding. About five came to the surprise party I threw for my husband. Yet, all of these same people I invited, always want us at their parties, showers, weddings, etc. But they never ever come to our parties or showers. Why is this? Why are we the ones that can just be tossed to the side?

I was so embarrassed. I'm so hurt. But at least I know where I stand with people.
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EOCROSSFITMOM 2/24/2014 11:47AM

    Thank you ladies for all the caring comments! It helps to get a perspective outside of the emotional circle - a lot.

Hubby and I spoke - I think one or two of my friends that were in attendance sent him a message about how hurt I was and he was so great when he came home. He and I talked - we won't be attending any of the parties or showers thrown by those who couldn't be bothered to make it. Only the people who came, the 2 friends who had already rsvp'ed that they had to work (and gave me the gifts the next day at church), the one who just had a baby, and the one whose 2-year-old daughter broke her arm falling on the way to get in the car to come here get to have us attend anything.

He pointed out that our shower also competed with the first pretty day we've all had in months and unfortunately we were't the priority.

We've also decided to be gracious and be the bigger people in this affair. Each of the 14 cancellations has not had a response yet and they all said they would drop off or meet me to give me the gifts. I am going to compose a short letter that will go to each basically stating that I'm sorry for not responding sooner but that I had 14 cancellations all within 30 minutes of each other on the first pretty day of the year and that only 4 people showed up so my nerves were pretty well shot and I simply couldn't handle responding but that I would be more than happy to arrange a time and place to pick up the gifts. (sorry for the run on sentence)

I'm still so hurt even though I know I should just cut my losses and move on. I wish there was an easy way to do that. However, I now understand how people can turn become so cold and uncaring.
So here's to focusing on my husband, my children, my grandchildren, and the few friends who really care. Everyone else can bite it.

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LOUISEH54 2/24/2014 9:38AM

    Inconsiderate people make it hard to plan parties. We found it less stressful to just grab close family and friends and go to a small restaurant that gives us permission to have a few tables toward the back to celebrate and open gifts.

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RAYLINSTEPHENS 2/23/2014 2:17PM

    forgive me - but they are not friends if you cannot count on them.

family at least you can call and say, "where were you when I needed you?"

I stopped going to parties myself because I got tired of being used for gifts. too often not even a thank you.

I am so sorry - I do know how much it can hurt.
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TIME2BLOOM4ME 2/23/2014 1:47PM

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EVIE4NOW 2/23/2014 11:02AM

  Some people have their priorities screwed up, and others just don't want to have to buy a gift. I would think doubly hard before accepting their invitations.

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LINDAMARIEZ1 2/23/2014 10:54AM

    Ok, no one will care 100 years from now; but I honestly believe I would not attend any of there's either (or send a gift) just wish them well! There is so many other good things that is out there for you! I never had a baby shower yet I have family and a sister! We eloped so no wedding shower or gifts there either! We have been married 43 years now! Life goes on... frankly now I view it as it just isn 't any of there business (if they were to ask me! They didn't! Life goes on... that's your gift! enjoy it to the fullest. and smile as in your circle of friends and family you seem to be the only one with decency!

I care!!! emoticon
Incidently, whether or not family attend; they should send a git for the new baby!

Comment edited on: 2/23/2014 10:56:47 AM

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PJ2222 2/23/2014 10:45AM

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