Thursday, February 20, 2014
I've been wanting to write a post for a while. At first, to say how awesome I am and how awesome my life is and how awesome everything is coming together for me. Then, I wanted to write about how maybe things aren't that awesome for me, but I'm still awesome and everything is fine. Yesterday, I wanted to write about how crappy everything is and even though you try as hard as you can there's always something that keeps you down. Today I'm feeling all these feels.
I ended 2013 with grace and strength. I started the year off with a fierce outlook. It's gonna be my year. I'm gonna move, get a raise, start a new morning job, meet new people and show them how incredible I am. I have self confidence and am a great person to be around!
I started my new morning job. I'm a receptionist at a vet clinic. I work with all women. Women gossip. Yesterday, I overheard them gossiping about me. I chose to not say anything but let them know I could hear them. Apparently, even when you're confident and happy people have some need to put you down. I thought it was just shy, fat girls with bad skin who got talked about; I learned something. These new people have little interest in becoming my friend. That's fine. I don't want to stay at this job anyway.
I asked for a raise at my nannying/housekeeping/personal assistant/dog walking job. I've been working for these people for 6 years, nannying full time for 2. I was denied my raise. Apparently I'm not as valuable to them as it seemed. I now feel like since I'm not going to be moving up in this job, I have no use for it any longer. I would like to be able to move up, have something to work toward. I have begun the exhausting and rejection-full task of job hunting.
I did get OFFERED a part time job starting in August with my old boss from UTK. I love this man, he's the best. I do not need to apply, I do not need to interview; this job is mine. My foot is in the door for a full time position with benefits and stuff when one opens in the department. I cannot wait to be back on campus.
Moving...we're still working on that.
What's got me really down? Stupid money and my lack of it. But I'm trying to go further and I'm confident that soon things will turn around.
All in all, I thought losing weight would be a panacea for all my problems. It is not but I certainly find it easier to cope with them.