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    BOBCATGIRL76   26,285
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Day 811- Positive Body Image Issues

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Thursday, February 20, 2014

Hey Everyone.

I'm writing this blog today due to the thought process I went through on my drive to work. I thought about something that I think about pretty often. This morning I weighed in at 185.6. A year ago today, I was 186.0. I've been in this 170-190 range for almost a year and a half. Many of my friends have asked me if I'm done losing, and my reflex answer is always, "No, I've got about 30-40 more pounds to lose." And when I was driving this morning, I was wondering if I'm ever going to reach that goal range.

I realized that I assigned the 140-150 pound goal based on BMI and research on the web on what a healthy weight for my height is. My entire childhood, every visit to the pediatrician meant another "you should really lose some weight" comment that I brushed off because I didn't want to listen.

But now, I wonder what my doctor would say. Would she still go off of the BMI Chart and tell me I need to lose another 20-30 pounds? Or would she take into consideration my "healthy" bodpod reading, the fact that I ran my first half marathon, and the fact that I exercise 4x a week and say that I'm right where I need to be.

The reason that I keep trying to lose weight by restricting my calories and working out often, is because my body doesn't look the way I imagined it would once I lost all the weight. But I'm beginning to realize I had unrealistic expectations. I'm not sure my extra skin will ever disappear without surgery, even with weight training. So I'll never have the flat stomach I dreamed of or get rid of my upper arm issues.

But I have to keep asking myself if I'm where I need to be, why am I not satisfied. Is it because I've got such a quantitative brain and the 180 on the scale and size 10 on my clothes just weren't what I figured my end goal would be. I've been here for over a year and have just continuously bounced around weight wise.

I just think I need to reset my thinking. I'm much healthier and much happier than I used to be. And if eating 1400-1800 calories and working out 4x a week means I'm maintaining at this weight, maybe I just have to deal with that. When I was at 1200 calories, I was losing weight but it was a struggle. I just need to figure my thinking out. Because right now the 150s just seem unreachable to me.

Sorry for the blabbering and random thought process. Just like getting my thoughts out in type so I can reread them and think things over.


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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EFFRAYECHILDE 3/17/2014 7:43AM

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MRSRIGS1 3/2/2014 5:59PM

    You look amazing! Perhaps, doing what you're doing and remaining healthy is all you need to think about now. If you get to the weight you thought you desired, then so be it. But, if you don't, so be it as well. The important thing is to remain happy and healthy. emoticon

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ZAPPATTACK 3/2/2014 3:09PM

    I think you're beautiful. I have been struggling with buckling down and losing too but just remember how much of an inspiration you are to us all!

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CANTHOLDUS 2/28/2014 10:21PM

    You mention your doctor and the BMI chart, but have you actually GONE and talked to your doctor about this? I was reading another blog not too long ago about a woman who has gotten incredibly fit, but was still considered "overweight" on the BMI chart. She spoke to her doctor, ran the appropriate tests and they determined that BMI just wasn't a good indicator for her. You can't measure yourself on a system that doesn't really work, and BMI Charts are highly flawed for a lot of people. If it's really bugging you, talk to your doctor about finding the right measuring stick for you. Her answer may surprise you! Regardless, congrats on your amazing progress! emoticon

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SUSIEMT 2/28/2014 12:10PM

    Extra skin is not always heavy. I had excess skin removal surgery last March. The surgeon removed approx 7 lbs of skin and some attached fat. He said that the skin was stretched really thin. I guess thats how big I was. Of course I started out at 325 and lost 160 lbs. Since the surgery (it takes several months for the swelling to go down) I look in the mirror and love what I see. I'm not perfect mind you but I no longer see the fat girl looking back at me. That's how I felt before the surgery. I have no regrets except it was rather pricey! I had chosen 160 as my goal weight and I am still considered overweight by the BMI (which I KNOW is ONLY a tool for the health professionals and anyone else that wishes to condemn you!) Even professional bodybuilders are considered overweight!
Bobcatgirl you can and will do anything you set your mind to. Try to aim for 5 lbs this year. See where that takes you. There is no hurry! Remember life goes on!

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SUPERDAD55 2/27/2014 10:23PM

    You should do what feels right for you!
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JMARISK 2/27/2014 11:09AM

    Between 2010 and 2013 I yo-yo'ed from 190-180s. Like you, I was running, working out, and watching my calories but I still couldn't lose the weight. In December 2013 I started making monthly calendars that with my goal weight for each week. Seeing the numbers go down on the calendar motivated me to workout hard and eat refueling foods wihtin my calorie range. Low and behold the weight is coming off. I was 178lbs in December. Now, I'm 165.

I'm also trying to figure out what my goal weight should be. I'm starting to focus more on inches and less on the numbers on the scale. According to the BMI scale, I should be in the 120s or 130s and I seriously don't think that would be a good look for me. Maybe if I lost all the weight without gaining any muscle that weight would be reachable, but it's certainly not desirable.

Whatever you deside, enjoy the new healthier you!

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AMANDACOETZER 2/27/2014 7:08AM

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TRANSFORM724 2/26/2014 1:55PM

    "The reason that I keep trying to lose weight by restricting my calories and working out often" I did this in 2011 and kept losing the same 3 pounds until I stopped doing anything. As a result, I gained 30 lbs back and got all the way back to my original weight. Please do not get too focused on the pounds. When I looked at old 2011 images, at the start of 2014, I couldn't believe how far I had come. Focus on what success you achieved and not the scale or even a dress size. Stress can block our weight loss as well so no stress, no worries and just be happy and grateful that you are still able to walk, run, and not on any type of restricted life. And also...if you exercise too much and not eat enough...that will stop your weight loss too! That's what I learned. Try more relaxation exercises for a week and then gather a new approach. Stress=weight gain!

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CLPURNELL 2/25/2014 7:34PM

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NANHBH 2/25/2014 9:26AM

    It's always good to get your thoughts out in writing and analyze them. I've been having similar thoughts. I want to lose those last 10 pounds, but I also want to live without having to count calories all the time. My philosophy is, "Do the footwork and leave the results to God."
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HHOLT6 2/24/2014 6:45PM

    I think it is good to process here. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
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JRRING 2/24/2014 2:16PM

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LOOD1962 2/24/2014 11:29AM

    I too am stuck and struggling. My current range is 165-169 but my goal is 140. Like you my goal now seems unattainable. My body seems to want to stay at this weight but I don't want to stay here. I just don't want to get over 169 again and at my age (51) it's really hard to get it off and keep it off. You have done a wonderful, awesome job so far but I would encourage you to keep trying even though the scales my never say what you want them to. Do what you can while you are young because it only gets harder. You are beautiful and I congratulate you on your success and your upcoming wedding.
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OJIBWEEQUAY 2/24/2014 9:09AM

    I wear a size 10 and I think I look HUGE! I have the worst skin on my stomach because I had 3 kids. But in reality most mommas do! Just remember how much better you feel about the way you look now then before. My goal weight is 160 and at 511 i hope to get there! But if I only get to 170 im still cool with that emoticon

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BESYKES 2/23/2014 10:56PM

    Do what's best for you! emoticon

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RUBYSNANA 2/23/2014 5:45PM

    Thanks for sharing such a personal blog. You gave us lots to think about, and for you to consider. The last time I did this program, I regained my weight and now I have to start all over again. Last time I also hit a plateau and it seem to go on for forever. I finally changed up my workout program - doing totally different activities--that seemed to help, and I also started mixing up my calories, going higher some days and lower other days. These steps seemed to speed up my metabolism. This is just food for thought. We all have to decide what is best for ourselves. emoticon

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SAMMI-SAM 2/23/2014 3:11PM

    Have you thought about lowering your calories about 200? I think you have plateaued.... When you work out, push yourself harder! Switch machines.... Add some weights on the end of your workout... I, myself, have gone through two plateaus.... They suck!

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MOMMY445 2/23/2014 1:50PM

    i agree! those are great thoughts! you are an amazing,wonderful person! you can do this!

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DAWNDMOORE40 2/23/2014 1:41PM

    I used to think the same way about weight loss! I would look at my self and vision myself with washboard abs and that there would be no fat around my mid-section. Over time and with lots of hard work, I did reach my goal weight and got down to a good BMI, but the thing is I would still look at myself and not think I was in "ideal" shape. What is ideal? I have started to realize that ideal is not just about the numbers on the scale or what your doctor thinks your BMI should be, but it's about how you feel and how your clothes fit! It's about a healthier you! It's about what works for you! You are on the right path! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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BRASKIN 2/23/2014 12:36PM

  What is "ideal"?? I keep trying to figure that out....it always seems that a few lbs. lighter would make sense...but if the body "likes" a weight, perhaps that's the place to be!

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LKG9999 2/23/2014 12:30PM

    Loved this blog. I'm also struggling with what my "ideal" weight should be; at 5'8" the normal BMI range is 5-10 pounds less than where my weight loss seems to stall. I have an endomorph body type and am well-endowed, so I wonder if the BMI range is really appropriate for me. My $.02 opinion is that what's more important than conforming to some range is 1) other health indicators (blood pressure, blood sugar and cholesterol levels, etc) and 2) how do *you* feel at a given weight.

Personally, I think you look fantastic as-is. Congratulations on a job well done, not only losing the weight but keeping it off.
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CECENEVADA 2/23/2014 11:47AM

  Don't let the numbers bother you too much. I've heard the average BMI isn't always totally accurate. Remember that BMI doesn't consider a person's body structure (bones). For me, I have a very large bone structure from my dad and if I weighed what my BMI said, I would be very boney and probably considered a bit underweight. I am 5'-7" and my BMI says I should be around between 160 and 170lbs. Right now, I would be completely satisfied with 180 - 190lbs.

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GARDENQE2 2/23/2014 11:41AM

    You have done so well! It may be that the numbers are about to take control of your life.

I just read a discussion thread about BMI and the "busty" women. I look and feel great, but I would have to get a double mastectomy to reach my "ideal" BMI.

My advice is that you keep doing what makes you feel good, and
enjoy being a girl! emoticon

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HAVASUJULES 2/23/2014 11:14AM

    Thank you for sharing such a personal story.

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MISSPUV 2/23/2014 11:07AM

    I hear you. I have been "stuck" or my weight has been "stable" for 1 year now. I'm still 5 pounds away from a healthy BMI and 10 pounds away from my original goal. I'm starting to wonder if I will even reach that healthy BMI weight. My biggest incentive to lose weight was my fear of Breast cancer recurrence. Yet despite my currently being classified as "obese", I'm down a pant size and have never felt better. Sometimes I wonder if this standardized BMI thing isn't a tad too rigid. I'm getting compliments about my appearance and my (perceived) weight loss yet the scale hasn't budged. Just thought I would share this for what it's worth. I guess the bottom line is the whole point is to be active and make as many healthy choices in terms of food and fitness as we can. Take care!

Comment edited on: 2/23/2014 11:08:47 AM

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SUSANYVONNE68 2/23/2014 10:03AM

    It sure is a lot to think about!
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GEMINICHIK 2/23/2014 9:23AM

    The # on the scale is not necessarily indicitive of healthy weight. You should talk to your doctor.

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WALKINGITOFFNOW 2/23/2014 3:24AM

    I would definitely say that a chat with your doctor is in order - they will probably say that for your height, age, etc. that you are right where you need to be.

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JOANNHUNT 2/22/2014 10:09PM

    YOU HAVE DONE AN AMAZING JOB SO FAR. KEEP PUSHING IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION. YOU CAN DO IT. IF MAINTAINING WHERE YOU ARE NOW IS MEANT TO BE, ENJOY IT. YOU DESERVE IT.

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AJB121299 2/22/2014 9:56PM

    nice

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BED0FR0SES 2/22/2014 9:48PM

    I struggle with the same issue, and have been stuck in the same 10 lb range for years now, which hovers at about 15-25 lbs from my goal weight. I think you're spot on about focusing more on just the healthy habits you've acquired, and less about what your expectations were when you started this journey. It reminds me of an article on Spark, that says you shouldn't hang on to a 'goal weight' pair of jeans or dress, because as our bodies change, there's no guarantee that that 'ideal' outfit will fit any better, even when we're healthy. I think we just need to keep telling ourselves that we're doing great, and look at other indicators instead of just the things we don't like about the scale or mirror. When I started my own journey, I was only concerned about changing my shape, I couldn't care less about blood work or endurance or strength. Now I'm still not at my 'perfect body' goal, but I'm healthier, stronger, and have more endurance than I ever would have dreamed of having before...I bet you can say the same, and I think it's a fair trade-off :)

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SUNSETSMILE 2/22/2014 9:24PM

    I think you look great!! However, I know that in your head you think, "Yeah but you haven't seen me naked". I think we bash every flaw we have when we look in the mirror. It is hard not to compare yourself to what is constantly flashed in our faces from the media. I think it is a matter of coming to peace with ourselves. emoticon

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MT-MOONCHASER 2/22/2014 9:08PM

    From someone who was briefly able to fit into a size that is equivalent to a current size 10 by using Dr prescribed diet pills (now known as "uppers") I think that you have done a great job with what you've lost and what you've been maintaining.

Have you also given thought to the fact that you are probably stressed about not losing the weight you were aiming for, and that stress can make the body react in much the same way as "starvation mode"? I have read blogs from several people who finally came to terms with the weight that they were maintaining and quit trying so hard and then they resumed losing.

Myself, I would be happy to fit into a size 10, but that will probably never happen as the shape of my body has changed over the years.

One bit of caution about the loose skin thing - if you decide to have some removed, don't do the tummy area until you have had all the children you will have as pregnancy will not do pretty things to a tummy tuck.

I wish you the best and I hope that you will concentrate more on the NSV's you have had and will have and less on what that darned scale says.

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DCWILLIAMS831 2/22/2014 8:53PM

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FINDINGMYFIT28 2/22/2014 8:27PM

    If I went by "the books" my weight would be around 130 pounds. Sure, I'm only 5'7 but I am built a little bigger. My husband & I both agreed that I'd be too small at 130 pounds. With this in mind, I thought back to my "smaller days" & when I was happiest with my weight. That is the goal I have set for myself. It may change as I go along in my journey but measurements, healthy BMI, & how I feel will all be taken into consideration.

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RENATA144 2/22/2014 7:29PM

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SAMMI-SAM 2/22/2014 6:26PM

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CUDDLYPOLARBEAR 2/22/2014 5:58PM

    well said

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DAGNY99 2/22/2014 4:10PM

    This is so what I am going through.
I started at 312 got down to 170 but now I am in the 194s. My body seems to like 194. I maintain it very easy. Even around the holidays I thought I was going to gain...but no 194.
However I just don't like being 6 pounds away from 200. I guess I feel like it would be so easy to hit 200 again and not get below it again. But getting to 170 was so hard and even then I don't think I was eating very healthy to get there. And I had thought my goal weight should be 150...
But everyone thinks I look great and they say that maybe this is just the weight my body thinks I should be even if I think I should be thinner, or lose more of the belly fat. I workout regularly, I eat healthy and allow moderation for snacks. I know I am not the fittest, probably couldn't run a fast mile compared to alot of people, but I challenge myself in my workouts and have become better from where I started.


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CROETHLE1 2/22/2014 3:22PM

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HOLLYM48 2/22/2014 3:09PM

    It is very hard to convince our minds that our body looks good where it is. It is certainly a great job that you have done maintaining for an entire year and that you have stayed consistent with eating and working out. Sometimes our bodies just don't want to get thinner and we have to accept that our body knows best. you do look great just the way you are so best of luck with whatever you decide to do!

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JUNETTA2002 2/22/2014 12:29PM

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KNEEMAKER 2/22/2014 11:40AM

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ARUN4ONE 2/22/2014 11:13AM

    Wow, thank you. I really needed to hear this. I too have bottomed out 25 pounds shy of my original goal. I feel so much better. I look so much better. People have even asked if I'm ok?! I'm like really??? I am at least 25 pounds OVER weight right now. I dunno, still a struggle, I've been maintaining almost a year now. Crazy ladies we are always trying to do more, be more. I agree, maybe it's time we start thinking differently. Great blog dear! Just wonderful! :)

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HEATHER3477 2/22/2014 11:10AM

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TRAVELGRRL 2/22/2014 8:34AM

    I think you should read the last few blogs of TINAJANE76.

http://www.sparkpeople.com/
mypage_public_journal_individua
l.asp?blog_id=5627734

She just passed her 2 year maintenance mark is has discussed at length exactly the issue you are talking about. WHAT is enough?

There's a difference between your lowest ACHIEVABLE weight and your lowest SUSTAINABLE weight. Good luck.

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THEIS58 2/22/2014 7:28AM

    Great post.

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ROXYCARIN 2/22/2014 6:20AM

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