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Church Bulletin Bloopers #1

Monday, February 17, 2014

Even if you've heard some of these before, I think you'll still enjoy them:

The Pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.

For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery down stairs.

The eighth graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the church basement on Friday at 7 pm. The congregation is invited to attend the tragedy.

This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.

The preacher will preach his farewell massage, after which the choir will sing, "Break Forth With Joy".

Thursday night: Potluck Supper - Prayer and medication will follow.

The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.

Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 to 8:30 p.m. Please use the back door.

Ushers will eat latecomers.

The third verse of Blessed Assurance will be sung without musical accomplishment.

The Rev. Merriweather spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience.

During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J. F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.

Next Sunday Mrs. Vinson will be soloist for the morning service. The pastor will then speak on "It's a Terrible Experience."

Due to the Rector's illness, Wednesday's healing services will be discontinued until further notice.

The music for today's service was all composed by George Friedrich Handel in celebration of the 300th anniversary of his birth.

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
IMEMINE1 2/22/2014 8:19AM

    emoticon I am still laughing at the egg laying. emoticon

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JENLMCC 2/22/2014 12:45AM

    Thank you for sharing. Just a slip of a word or two sure changes the meaning! Ha ha

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GENRE009 2/21/2014 2:45PM

    How cute, glad I don't go to that church. emoticon

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LACEYKYLE 2/20/2014 11:34PM

    emoticon emoticon I thoroughly enjoyed each one!!


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KALISWALKER 2/19/2014 8:18PM

    Love it!

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GRACEOMALLEY 2/19/2014 7:10PM

    I've seen most of these before, but that doesn't diminish their humor. Thanks for sharing! emoticon

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PCOH051610 2/18/2014 7:05PM

    Ha! Loved these!

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RELISA4HEALTH 2/18/2014 11:25AM

    That was too funny. Thanks for sharing a piece that brought laughter.

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CATIATM 2/18/2014 10:16AM

    These were a hoot!

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EMMACORY 2/18/2014 9:43AM

    Cute!!! Thanks for the smile for the day. emoticon

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GODSCHILDAMYB 2/18/2014 8:51AM


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SANDRALEET 2/18/2014 8:19AM

    emoticon Funny Lay a egg and electric gerdil

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NYARAMULA 2/18/2014 1:52AM


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IGNITEME101 2/18/2014 12:35AM

    I belly laughed at these! What fun!! Wow I needed that~

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SUNFLOWERGAMMY 2/18/2014 12:34AM

    emoticon I had to get in one last visit before signing off until 3/21/14. Take care. I hope your chin is healing well. emoticon

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HEALTHYGRAMMY49 2/18/2014 12:17AM

    What a riot!!!i used to be a church office manager/secretary & did the bull twin weekly. I don't remember making any boo-boos like these, but they sure gave me a big laugh! Thanks for sharing sweetie.
emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 2/18/2014 12:20:23 AM

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ALICIA214 2/18/2014 12:12AM

I have seen these before but I always laugh when I read them. Thank you for sharing them...


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