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Church Bulletin Bloopers #1

Monday, February 17, 2014

Even if you've heard some of these before, I think you'll still enjoy them:

The Pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.

For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery down stairs.

The eighth graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the church basement on Friday at 7 pm. The congregation is invited to attend the tragedy.

This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.

The preacher will preach his farewell massage, after which the choir will sing, "Break Forth With Joy".

Thursday night: Potluck Supper - Prayer and medication will follow.

The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.

Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 to 8:30 p.m. Please use the back door.

Ushers will eat latecomers.

The third verse of Blessed Assurance will be sung without musical accomplishment.

The Rev. Merriweather spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience.

During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J. F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.

Next Sunday Mrs. Vinson will be soloist for the morning service. The pastor will then speak on "It's a Terrible Experience."

Due to the Rector's illness, Wednesday's healing services will be discontinued until further notice.

The music for today's service was all composed by George Friedrich Handel in celebration of the 300th anniversary of his birth.
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