Monday, February 17, 2014
So today starts the next big challenge from all my buddies at Spark People! I'm a little scared, more so than you'd think for a simple online challenge- and here's why...
For years now, I've gotten by with my slow starts and abandoned projects by telling myself that I had plenty of time before I turned 30. It was just one of those big, out-of-the way numbers...I've got 5 years, 2 years, 6 months, before being 250 pounds is unacceptable to me, before not having a grown-up job is unacceptable to me, before not being married is unacceptable to me.
Well I got the job. Back in September with 6 months to spare, I got the promotion that makes me a vital and decently-paid part of a university department, with retirement benefits and health insurance, and a job that I'm happy to describe to anyone I went to high school with. Most importantly, I have people at work with whom I enjoy collaborating, and I feel like my skills and talents are rewarded and appreciated. That's huge, and I'm so glad to have found it.
And the marriage part? That's not a fear at this point- I've been so happy with Robert for 5 years now that when we do get married it isn't so much a tie someone down, I'm never going to be alone thing as it is a celebration of the life we've built up with each other. I don't even sweat that one.
But the weight...oh the weight. I have less than a month. There's no hitting my goal weight. There's no being under 200. There is only whatever I can do between now and March 11th...and that feels so much like failure that I kinda want to puke, right here as I'm typing this.
So my goal, to finally answer week 1's challenge, isn't a number at all. It's just to remind myself that 30 isn't the big deal it seemed like in high school- I'm going to be around for a long LONG time past this, and the friends and support and healthy habits I carry into March 12th and past that are going to make 30 such a great year to look back on.
Deep breath. Challenge accepted.