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    LINDYPOWER   26,601
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Depression is an obstacle to weight loss

Sunday, February 16, 2014

I'm alone for every holiday. TO NOT THINK ABOUT BEING ALONE I ALWAYS DO HUGE PROJECTS LIKE THIS ONE ON VALENTINE'S DAY.





I call this the cellarway. There are shelves with all my canning equipment and some appliances here. Also my homemade laundry soap. I'm doing the tile floors and having trouble cutting around pipes and odd spots and do NOT want to finish this job, but I have to. I need to put back the steam cleaner and vacuum cleaner in this storage area. The pretty curtains hide the contents and keep dust off the jars, somewhat.



I took everything off the pantry shelves, re-painted them purple, washed all the mason jars and appliances on the shelves. It's all sparkling clean now.



I finally painted this wall purple and sponge painted it to hide all the cracks in the wall. I did all this on Valentine's Day all alone.


putting new tiles on floor leading into the cellarway.



I'm all over the place. Instead of focusing on the basement, I'm priming this hallway wall that I should I have done a few years ago. I'm scattered and overwhelmed with all this work I have to do myself.


And with the primer out, now I'm trying to cover up the rain stains on the living room ceiling, too. KILZ doesnt work on it.



Finally finished this job I started 2 years, ago. Scraping basement wall leading to cellar was all peeling paint and in order to mask the parts I couldn't scrape off, I primed, painted purple the other day, and used a sponge to make this design.

I scrubbed cellar staircase, painted the railing, and now I'VE got to get downstairs and finish the painting of the heavy metal cabinet I was doing when my brother died. I wanted to show him the finished job before Christmas. I am finding it hard to finish it now and I have to do this so I can place things in the cabinet to help organize and clean up this mess.



54 cubby holes need to be painted.




I JUST DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO PICK UP WHERE I LEFT OFF. I'M VERY STUCK ON THIS MALE ORIENTED HUGE PROJECT AND HAVE TO FORCE MYSELF TO CONTINUE. I WAS MOTIVATED WHEN MY BROTHER WAS ALIVE TO SHOW HIM THAT I FINALLY RESTORED OUR FATHER'S BASEMENT. NOW HE'S DEAD AND I'M OUT OF STEAM.



When my brother died on Dec. 17th, he had no money (-$769) in bank. He had no death benefits. I had to take his learning disabled family to social services and beg for death benefits so he didn't end up in Potter's Field even though he was a Viet Nam Vet. I buried him at a National Cemetery on December 23. I've been alone all this time. Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, New Year's Eve, New Year's Day, Valentine's Day.

And I've got the rest of the house restoration chores to finish. I work work work work work....and my arm disability gets worse. Stamina is low, but I keep pushing.

The basement has turned into a nightmare. I was doing good with restoring it but when my brother died, I was in the midst of restoring a huge, heavy metal cabinet with 54 cubby holes that he dragged into the basement in the 1960's. It was flaking rust and black with 50 years of dirt.



His death took the wind out of me. The shed was supposed to be fixed by a crew of workers for a town program helping those in need. I had to empty all the contents of the messy shed by November 26th and had no choice but to dump most of it down in the basement (where my project was ongoing) and now the basement is a NIGHTMARE. BUT THEY NEVER CAME TO DO THE SHED. ALL THE SNOW IS IN IT NOW.

I'm very sad. Alone. I need a wave of energy to get back down there and finish it all up before the weather gets nice, if it ever does. I'm a shut in and have not shovelled out. Thankfully I've got plenty of organic nuts, seeds, whole grains, long keeper vegetables and fruits.

I need a swift kick in the arse. My life is not like most other women in their last stages of life.

I'll be happy when the basement is finished.

Meanwhile I've been puttering and painting the cellarway wall, railing, hallway, doors, etc. it's called procrastination from sorting through all this crap and moving forward to set up grow lights in the basement to start the Spring backyard organic garden.

I'm in a deep funk. I've been cleaning behind the furniture in the old parlor and washing old paneling with homemade cleaners using olive oil and vinegar.
I procrastinated the basement work by spending a whole day moving living room furniture and cleaning the wooden floors beneath them on my hands and knees - then polishing the floors with homemade cleaner using olive oil and vinegar. I did the paneling, the lamps, furniture, took all the family pictures down and cleaned them. It was exhausting work.



I'm showing all this to demonstrate how fragmented and overwhelmed I am over all the massive amounts of work I need to do.

How can I focus on diet and losing weight? There is NO junk food in this house. Nothing to tempt me. I eat well. I have been doing the changing lifestyle habits for EVER.

but the weight doesn't come off. I have to starve myself. I admit that. Starve myself and work at cardio aerobics about 6 hrs. a day to lose.

I have back and arm injuries. I can't do that. So I am at the same weight I have been since I joined SP in 2009.

what can I say? I'm depressed right now...but working hard doing things every day.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LINDYPOWER 2/23/2014 12:52PM

    Ahahahaha I am laughing over the idea that my children will help me.

That is never going to happen. I'm on my own.

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FENWAYGIRL18 2/16/2014 3:54PM

    I'm sorry for your loss and it's good that your keeping yourself busy but if your so overwhelmed ask your kids to help you, as parents we dedicated our lives to them they can give you some help as it sounds like you need it.
I'm disabled and I couldn't do half the things you've done, you should feel a great accomplishment, but ask the kids for help.
Sounds like you need to talk to someone maybe you should go talk to a pastor/ priest to get some things off of your chest.
As far as losing weight your not going to lose weight by starving yourself (your words), that's not healthy.
Good luck

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LINDAMARIEZ1 2/16/2014 3:21PM

    I am married but still all alone if you get my drift! emoticon

when you run out of things to do please please please clean mine! but, I will still be alone!

hugs

Comment edited on: 2/16/2014 3:23:15 PM

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WIFE48 2/16/2014 3:08PM

    emoticon emoticon Sorry for your loss.

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