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    EVER-HOPEFUL   131,519
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blc wec,love letter to myself.

Sunday, February 16, 2014

weather this blog ends up turning out to be a love letter to myself is another matter.i donīt about the others doing this challenge but i find this part of it very hard mainly in defining the definition of love.for example my husband very rarely says he loves me,i know he does but i think he has actually said the words 6 times since i have known him in 2000.most of those times was when i virtually gave him no choice,lol.so do they count.i ask him why he doesnīt say it.to him words are meaningless he says he shows me daily in his actions he loves me.he says he is still with me isnīt he,he comes home at night,tells me where he is going ,even had children with me.if he didnīt love me why would he have children with me.etc,etc.i know this is also true but as a women i also like to hear it.I NEED TO HERE IT.like my kidīs if they do something i donīt like or donīt agree with i tell them i donīt like what they are doing .i say i still like/love them but donīt like or love what they just did or are doing.i hope by doing this to get the point across that there is a differance and by not liking what someone does doesnīt mean we donīt like that person.it is a fine differance but a very important one.you could say i had a hard childhood compared to some.we travelled alot as my father was in the forces.we were involved in a bad carcrash when i was 7 which left my mother with some disabilitating injuries and illnesīs which she eventually died of when i was 12.from the age of 7 i had to help round the house with cooking,cleaning and looking after my mom,my sister and i took it in turns.when my mom died my sister was doing her oīlevels which was inportant so it was up to me to take over running the house .i used to go in my dinner break shopping.cook and prepare the family dinner ,made breakfast etc,etc.i was told at the time that when it was my turn to do oīlevels tracy my sister would take over the house work so i could study for my exams.in therory it sounded good but in practice,the truth was when it was time for me to do my oīlevel my sister was studying for her A levelīs which of course where more important than my oīlevels.i am not complaining (maybe a bit)because all that has happened in my life has made me to the person i am now.also in all this time i never once doubted that i was loved.my nana and tiad lived up the road as we moved into their village when my mother got really ill when i was 11 and i went there everyday,had my mother to cry on should i need it my taid for comfort and lots of cousins living inthe near.also lots of friends as i was always an open outgoing person.i had to be or i would have had a very lonely childhood the amount of times we moved when my father got posted to a new forces base.i concider myself very lucky to be surrounded by all the love i had and why i think it is important that my kids learn the differance between not loving what they do when it is something i disagree with and loving them.especially as i say my husband is not very verbal on theese matters.we receantly had a report on ayyub back where they have been testing him for dyslexia etc.it was quite a depressing report.he has dyslexia but also has other learning problems and we have a choice that he a,sits back a year next year and redoes this year or what they recomend he goes in a special school where they can help him better to overcome or deal with his learn dificulties in a smaller class.we have chosen the latter.but maybe to buck me up abit she did say that one of the questions asked was what would you do if you had a problem or were scared.he said go to my mother and ask for her help.she said that is a good sign that are family is intact,lol.donīt you just love the words they use intact.i am just glad they didnīt ask zakariya that question,lol.as when i was saying to ayyub that was a lovely thing to say and i was touch he laughed.i asked zakariya ,why what would you have answered.he said his answer would be.depends on where or what the problem is.lol.guess he is a bit more grown up than ayyub.if in school he would go to a teacher at home to me.also.with all the health problems i have had the last 5 years i remeber a friend saying to me i must have done something really wrong to have all this happen to me.my reply was.you are wrong there i must have done something really right as i am still here.what you may all wonder does this have to do with a love letter to myself.the answer is nothing and everything.what is love.how do we see ,determine and proytray that love.sometimes i treat myself to a nice chocolate to treat myself.sometimes a bunch of flowers or a bubble bath they are all forms of love.yes even the chocolate when i am having it as a treat not useing it as a cause to eat my stress ,fustrations etc.yes that also happens.but sometimes it is with love.i love my eyes.i love my smile even though it is now lopsided since my facial paralise and the reason i love it is because i can still see my moms and my nanas smile in it(everyone has always said i have their smile)that makes me feel good as it reminds me of them.i love my body in all it impefections because it has given me three beautiful children.it takes me from A_B and not only does it make me feel good most times it makes me feel alive.but is this or should this love letter be about my body or should it be about my soul,my intellergence,my faith,my heart?as they too are what i am all about donīt you think?like i said i found this part of the challenge very hard to do as i wasnīt certain how to define it.i am still not certain if this blog can even be called a love letter to myself.either way you can decide but this is my entry for the challenge square and i think well earned as alot of me has gone into this letter/blog.take care and keep smiling and thanks for taking the time to read it and reply to it.love you all emoticon
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SWEETNEEY 2/19/2014 5:41AM

    interesting

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TREE57 2/17/2014 10:24PM

    This is absolutely a love letter!!!

My husband is also like Lofti. His love language is service. Through the kind gestures, helping around the house, all the the little extras he does is showing me his love.

You are beautiful, strong, competent, loving, giving and compassionate. Thank you for sharing so much of yourself with us.

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DEEGIRL50 2/17/2014 1:19PM

    So much to love! You are a strong competent beautiful woman. Always walk with your head held high and know you are loved.
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RAINBOWCHOC 2/17/2014 5:56AM

    Do you remember the film "Fiddler on the Roof"? He asks his wife if she loves him, her reply is that for 25 years she has washed his clothes, cooked his meals, raised his children and still he asks. She does love him and reaches that conclusion in the song but it sounds like your husband feels the same.
Good luck with learning to write your own love letter, it seems an insurmountable task. Most of us are overweight because we use food to soothe the hurts and make ourselves feel better. If we could love ourselves a bit more we would be those "other people" that we might aspire to be. However we KNOW they often aspire to be like us, so it's never that easy.
I'm glad to read you love your body. I hope you dropped that "friend" who thought you had been bad. Nobody needs friends like that. Sparkfriends are in this with you, and you are one of the best Sparkfriends any of us could have.
Sending love....German customs permitting!!

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CRYSALLIS1 2/16/2014 9:09PM

    Karen ,
You are so very loved by so many people. You are a wonderful wife, mother, & friend. You are also strong & true to yourself. I'm glad you take time out to treat yourself. You deserve nothing but the very best in life. Your love, friendship, & encouragement has even reached several countries! emoticon Bless you dear friend for all you do for others. Bless you my dear for teaching others so much by example. I'm quite sure to your Mother would be so proud of you. You make everyday Valentines day. emoticon

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MILLISMA 2/16/2014 8:06PM

    Karen, this is such a wonderful blog and you more then deserve your square. Yes, you do love yourself and you have many reasons to. I admire you and I know these last few years have not been easy. Your home is also filled with love and it's so obvious in the stories that you share.

hugs to you my friend......so lucky to have met you here on spark emoticon

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KAYTIE22 2/16/2014 8:00PM

    Well said. Thank you for always sharing so much of yourself with all of us. You are an amazing person.

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1CRAZYDOG 2/16/2014 3:09PM

    OH my gosh! The comment about " . . . having done something wrong" and that's why bad things happen. . . . not a chance that's true!!! It just HAPPENS. Our job is to learn how to deal the best we can and that's what you're doing.

I think you're making a wise decision choosing the special school w/smaller class size. My DS had learning problems, too, and is now 21. He is independent and doing well. So, things do work out. But we have to pick and choose carefully to offer our kids the best help for them.

HUGS and I admire your perseverance!

As for love . . . well . . . my DH and I have been married 25 yrs. Believe me, we've had our share of disagreements, but when all is said and done, we both know we love each other and are here for one another. OH, he'll tell me "I love you", but like you, sometimes I need to hear it more often. But those are the times when I think about all he DOES for me in a day.

Fabulous blog.

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SERENE-BEAN 2/16/2014 1:34PM

    This was perfect. You earned your square, I'd say, and thank you for sharing.

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MICKEYH 2/16/2014 1:24PM

    Thanks for sharing this blog about love latter to myself and sharing your earnest thought and about you.
I see so many men's are not saying "he love us" some of reason could be maybe religion or the country he was born or raised. Most of Asian men's are not so much keen to say how he feels Compared to American or European men. But I think most important thing is to recognize ourselves we are loved and awesome!
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SUSIEPH1 2/16/2014 12:36PM

    Oh Darling ! There is so much of you to love .. You are brave ,strong, loving ,intelligent,faithful, patient,so many things that I know and love about you ...
I am so glad you are my friend .. Your mother would be so proud of you ...
Your letter to yourself is honest and true .. Love you dearly my friend ... Give the boys a cuddle for me xxx Susie xxx emoticon emoticon

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