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    SARAHSTEELIO   4,035
SparkPoints
4,000-5,499 SparkPoints
 
 
how many data points will it take?

Friday, February 14, 2014

Okay, as expected, it was a shinola weigh-in.

Since joining SP in December, I have lost 2 pounds, gained a pound, lost a pound, gained 2 pounds, lost 3 pounds, gained a pound, lost 2 pounds, gained a pound, etc.

So I officially weigh 2 pounds less than I did when I started 2 months ago, up a pound from last week's weigh-in, and it's hard not to feel discouraged.

No, I didn't track perfectly last week... but I didn't binge! I ate salads! I got on the treadmill! I really loathe to think that the only life I will have from here on out is one where I have to run to my laptop every 4 hours after (or before) I've eaten. I'm okay with tracking as a tool as long as I feel confident that I can fade it out eventually and eat intuitively; I really don't want my permanent future to be filled with calorie-counting.

I've maintained this weight for years and years without tracking calories. It is VERY tempting to just throw in the towel, accept that this is where my body "wants" to be, and stop logging in. But I know that's not what I REALLY want, because I am now constantly asking myself:

Was the old way really working?

I would love for it to NOT take 6 months for me to get my weight loss to actually START. But it's sort of looking like that's a possibility. I'm not sure if what's better: to accept that I keep making mistakes (or more like the same mistake over and over again) and forgive myself, or to just stop making the darn mistakes. I mean, of COURSE I know which one is better... but not making mistakes is obviously not in the cards for me.

I guess the good news is that I feel markedly less angry with myself than I have after every other bad weigh-in, and that I have, as of this morning, started tracking everything I eat. Again.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ANNEMARGAR 2/15/2014 8:10AM

    Sarah - I am sorry to hear that your weigh-in did not provide you the results that you wanted/or expected. If it makes you feel any better - I am in the same boat this morning. Honestly, I am blaming it on the weather. This extreme cold means that I am not as active, I would be surprised if our bodies hang on to some of this fat to keep us warm right now.

That being said - every decision you make to watch what you eat -- the salads for lunch the planned meals at breakfast - all help you at least maintain your weight. Just think of where your weight would be if you weren't being so careful?

I have stopped drinking alcohol for the past 41 days. I stopped because my body was having trouble handling the alcohol. Each night that I do not have two glasses of wine, I save myself 200 calories. Now, 200 calories is no big deal, but if I did that every night - it would be 1,400 by the end of the week. Over time, those calories add up . So my not drinking IS making a difference for me.

What seems hard for you now IS hard - it is a change. Change is hard and uncomfortable, but I know I will feel better when I am even two pounds lighter - so a little calorie counting today will lead me to feeling much better - once the weight comes off. Focus on your dream goal and how good you will feel once you reach that goal!!

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