Thursday, February 13, 2014
The new year is going good for healthy eating, regular exercise, weightloss, and mental toughness about all of it. It feels good to make wise choices. I feel in control and confident. I am not richer, more famous, younger, nor do I look much different but I FEEL so much better about it all.
I weighed in today for a little challange at a local ladies fitness club and have lost 8 lbs this new year. We have 6 more weeks to go and I hope to drop another 5. That'll take off all of the gain from the past few months. Then I'll have those last 3 pounds to hit the goal I set almost 3 years ago. I plan to do that by June 1.
I am yearning again to hit that goal. I had kinda left it by the wayside for a year or so but that just led to weight gain. I am willing to accept 5 lbs of teetering but I want to squelch the yo-yo even with 15 lbs. I like the way I look/feel give or take a few pounds and it's not about the # but how I feel in my clothes and my skin. I have to get this done!
My whole journey has been about slow and easy wins the race and practicing maintainance all the way through. It has made a tremendous difference. For the first time in my life I've maintained a loss for almost two years. That does not even sound real to me. I feel like I am telling someone else's story. I joined the MaintAinence team several months back but I still don't feel like One of THEM. I have continually had to battle putting on 10-15 pounds and losing them again. I guess that's why I feel this way. But I feel closer to that title today.
The journey has been ???!!!?!!? Unexplainable?! So many ups and downs. So many rationalizations. So many temptations. So many hard lessons. Then one day you realize that you have arrived. OMG I made it! Then you ask yourself, "Do I like it here enough to continue to do what it takes to stay here?" Because we know that reverting back to old habits and lifestyle will just take us back to that fat, unhappy place. It's easy to say that you rather not go back there but are you willing to do it? Who doesn't want to be happy to get dressed in something cute in just the right size? Who doesn't want to be able to jump the waves and walk the paths? Who doesn't want to feel sexy? Who wants to consistently and diligently eat right and exercise?
Right here. Right now. Today. I want to. I like this place. I want to be here. I will do what it takes.
That fat, unhappy place will always be there, waiting. I can always go back if I choose. If I choose food for comfort. if I use food to numb my emotions. If I want to be pittied. If I want to wait to be rescued. If I want to seek solace and run away. If I want immediate satisfaction of my taste buds. I can have it all. I do not have to deny myself of anything.
I am a different person than I was when I started this journey 2 1/2 yrs ago. My path has changed and I deal with things differently. 2014 another year of learning and progress.