Thursday, February 13, 2014
Never think that you are alone with personal struggles. They happen to all of us, me included. I've been fighting with weight gain lately because I stopped tracking and I had steroid shots. Why did I stop tracking when I know it works? I got lazy, plain and simple. I know I need to track my food and exercise to succeed, but wanted to believe I could estimate things well enough this late in the game. Not true. Once you build a healthy habit that works, stick with it.
So what am I feeling? Well, I gained about 25 pounds, so I feel ashamed. I feel like hiding and calling myself names and upset that my thin clothes don't fit as well. I've lost 5 of those pounds and I'm going to lose more. Why? Because personal struggles happen and regain has happened to me before and I have beaten it.
The secret is to never ever look at it like it's the end of the world. Regain happens and when it does, you have to figure out why. Have you dropped a healthy habit? Have you picked up a bad one? Are you tired of your new lifestyle? If it's the last one, think about how much your old lifestyle really sucked the life out of you. Then think of what you can do to change up your new lifestyle to a fresh perspective. Perhaps you need some healthy habits that suit your lifestyle better than the ones you began with. As you grow and evolve, so will your lifestyle. Keep changing things up and trying new things.
I struggle with watching some of my close friends. They have had the weight loss surgery and weight comes off either quickly or they are able to eat things they want, while I have to watch everything that goes in my mouth and take weight off very very slowly- over 9 years to be exact. I don't begrudge them their success, but I do get jealous. It's very hard not to and it makes me want to just give up at times because I can't "keep up." But it isn't about keeping up or losing weight in a certain amount of time for me. I had the same chance to have surgery if I wanted it, but did not take it. I knew it was about getting my head straight for me and my fear of surgery and complications was much greater than my desire for rapid weight loss. It still is. It takes a brave soul to undergo weight loss surgery. So while I don't begrudge them their success, it is so hard to see what took me 9 years to take off, come off of someone else in a matter of months. It is hard to watch someone else be able to eat foods I can't and still lose weight. But such is life. I just have to admit that it isn't a race and I can't keep up. I'm going to lose weight slowly, frustrating as that may be.
So in the end, what am I doing about my weight gain and my frustration with my non-existent race? I've recommitted to tracking my food and looked back at some of my original healthy habits like measuring. I've clicked the SparkPeople START button and edited my goals and upped the pounds I want to lose per week to give myself more of a challenge because I think my body is in a bit of a rut with the old calorie range. It's okay to realize my reasons for frustration, but not okay to make excuses for them. I'm taking back my healthy program old school.